Weigh - In #29

Mind Matters
It's been one of those weeks that I've hadn't had since October/November.

Seriously. It was A-MAZ-ING!! I just felt like everything was synced up, if you don't count the fact that I got ot the gym at 9:15 PM last night and realize, as I am undressing nonetheless, that I forgot a shirt. yay!not.

It's weeks like these that wish I could clone.

Food for Thought
My goal last weekend was to minimize my processed food intake, which although not stellar much better than previous week(ends)! That small detox helped me slide into the week with fewer cravings. I survived the week without chips, chocolate, junk, and it is exactly what I attribute my loss too this week.

Don't get me wrong, early in the week I still had cravings for chocolate solely and I satisfied that craving with a cup of hot cocoa. 1 Point and oh so satisfying. and the further I got into the week, the less I had them and if I can make it through this weekend without any of that crap, I'm hoping my body will have 'reset' itself.

I know in years past, I would have gone drastic and put myself on Phase 1 of SBD, but you know what, there is no need. Eating fruits and veggies and minimal whole wheat grains, is just as good at cleansing your palate as going cold turkey, at least for me!

Workin' on my Fitness
4 workouts again and that's ok, for now.

I'm really throwing myself into my C25K training. Ii finished the 4th week and had on intended on running my first 5th week run yesterday but instead I did a HIIT workout on my elliptical.

I've noticed that the closer I get to goal, that I really need to focus on other things besides my goal number, and throwing myself into running is exactly that! I'm trying to be very aware of any on-set of backpain and dial it down but so far, knock on wood, its been all good.

This is it!
I already mentioned earlier that I attribute my loss to my clean eating this week so... what did I lose this week?

2.5 lbs!!

which brings me to 151!! whoot whoot... wthat also means I reached my goal for this month!!

February always freaks me out since it's such a short month, but I'm hoping to keep the losing trend up!!

No major plans for the weekend except a fundraiser bowling event on Sunday. I do need to catch up on some hw.. I feel behind/not putting as much effort into it as I should be, so that's my goal for this weekend!

Have a good one ya'll!

OOTD 1/23/09

so, technically I have put myself on a clothing ban for the first half of the year.

you see, I got a tad too charge happy in the fall and yeah, I need to work on that ASAP! but I saw this dress at Target which reminded me of this Free People dress from Macy's (which I really couldn't wear in this arctic freeze) and had to have it, and for $25 I didn't have to whip out the plastic.



oh, and for a brand snob like myself...this entire outfit is Target! Holla...



so yeah, I had no place to go and I got all dolled up. I swear, we just went to Target and Jo-Ann's. I guess next time I need to be a tad more direct and tell Nate to take me the hell out, ya know, besides Target.

Rebecca's Lunchbox - Baked French Toast

so, I mentioned a few weeks ago I had been struggling with finding winter breakfasts that were filling and satisfying and I must say my quest has been quite successful. First, the Baked Oatmeal and now Baked French Toast!? What else can I bake!?

my lovely coworker Barb, who may be reading this so Hi...wavingfrantically...., let me borrow this great new cookbook released by Prevention Magazine called 400 Calorie Fix . The whole premise behind this book is that you eat 4, 400 calorie meals, so they a plethora of information, anything from take-out to at home meal recipes..

anywhoo... I love me some French Toast!! I mean puffyheart French Toast ,but being the only one (in my house) that does like, I rarely make it for myself because it's just too much work (yup, I said it...I'm lazy!). so when I saw a recipe for Baked French Toast, I knew I had to make it.

Ingredients:
2 eggs
2 eggwhites
3/4 c lowfat milk
1 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
8 sl. bread

Now, lemme state, I didn't 100% stick to the recipe, instead of 80 calorie bread,I used 45 calorie bread, and I omitted the peach or apple compote that goes on top. It just wasn't my thang.

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix.

Now the recipe calls to lay out the slices of toast in a shallow backing pan, and then pour the egg mixtue over it, which I did, but I wouldnt do it again. The pieces werent properly coated so some ended up with more and others with less. oh well, lesson learned for next time!

Cover with aluminum foil, and bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Uncover and cook for another 20 minutes.

Now, I forgot to take an after photo, but it never felt quite done. I don' want to say it felt soggy because that wouldn't be the right term, but it didn't look as crisp as the photo did.

Nonetheless, this is a recipe that calls for items you have on hand, it's super easy to make and oh so delicious!!! I swear!

Hope you enjoy!

Success!

I had a completely different post scheduled for today but the truth is, I had an amazing weekend!

No, I didnt do anything over-exciting unless you count food prepartation the highlight of your weekend, but..what i did do was stay within my Points!!!!! whoot...whoot...

I know, I know... but this has been a huge struggle of mine since Christmas so this is a huge victory for me. It is the first weekend, where I am not only coming into th week with Points still available to me, but I'm also down!!! I'm so pumped for what I can achieve this week and isn't it amazing what an On Point weekend can do to the pysche?

Seriously, I was having a hard time getting my mind back in the game, it was easy for me to say, "oh, my body is getting close to goal, of course it is going to be harder to lose weight." but the reality is, I just wasn't following through with the plan. I was eating more, and just not exercising as much. I was being way too passive for my liking!

but, I think there is a good lesson to be learned here, sure the first 2 - 3 weeks weren't spectacular but... I didn't give up and I found my mojo again. I'm not ready to sit back and waste my time again, I'm ready to get to goal!

how was your weekend? successful?

Weigh - In # 28

Mind Matters
It was a better week. Still not great but I'm working on it and in the end that's all you can hope for.

I didn't strive for perfection before, not quite sure why I am attempting too now. Guess it's me trying to prove I can do everything and more (all at once nonetheless)!

Food for Thought
Better. Much better. I didn't go over my Points but I did still eat too much crap. Crap that I have let come into the house that must be eaten and then banned.

I'm torn... and excuse me if I've discussed this before, but I'm trying to incorporate more 'reality' into my eating. I was very strict in the fall and although I plan on continuing to only eat out once a week, I do plan on drinking more than just once a month. oh, and chips!? they were more or less not in my life anymore and since the New Year, I've had more cravings than I care to admit too. I'm thinking the real culprit is probably all the chocolate I have been consuming on a weekly basis again, which means... I need to keep that stuff out of the house.

Goal for this weekend is to not plow through my Weeklies! I've had to be overly strict during the week which could be leading to my more frequent Wednesday/Thursday night cravings.

Workin' on my Fitness
Alas, still only worked out 4xs this week. Perhaps I should just accept that as the norm for now and be ecstatic if I can fit in a 5th workout.

I did complete Week 3 of the Couch 2 5K and had my first Week 4 run yesterday, and it felt great!

It's weird how things change...I worked up quite the sweat yesterday but upon leaving, I wasn't a hot mess like I had been months before. I'd call that progress!

This is it!
that means, that this week I......

lost 1 lb! bringing me to a total of 34.5 lbs lost

Not bad, not bad. I had hoped to reach the 35 lb lost mark today but oh well. I need to realize that with me adjusting my eating and being near to my goal, my loss will inevitably slow. I'm in no hurry and should be at my goal before June anyways!

Have a good weekend everyone!

To achieve something you've never had, you must do things, you've never done.

I've been stressed lately with all of this going back to school stuff. Mostly by my own doubt at whether or not I am making the right decision although I know, something has to change and whether or not this is it, it's at least a step in the right direction.

so who would have guessed that spending an afternoon at a baby shower would give me the confidence boost that I desperately needed.

I was filling Kelley in with my newest plan of persuing Exercise Science and Nutrition, when she excitedly explains that I have to meet Melissa, she too recently underwent major career changes.

seriously, this conversation was the highlight (ok, after the delcious cupcakes I had!) of the entire shower! you see, Melissa and I shared a similar history but whereas I've ended up lost and confused, Melissa is already riding the horse into the sunset.

Melissa graduated with a pre-med degree, ended up in Med School and in her 3rd year, decided she didn't want to be a Dr. Wasn't willing to sacrifice the hours, debt (although a lot was already incurred), and life to become a successful practicing Doctor. She took a year off, trying to figure out what to do and mentioned that although she had planned on being a Doctor full-time, she had always anticipated teaching in some respect while practicing, so she was quite shocked that she didn't realize sooner that with her background, she could become a science teacher. She ended up going back to school for her certifications and now teaches HS science.

and it felt great to hear someone else who had been in my shoes, and that they made it out ok.

you see, I was pre-Law and realized after I graduated, and having interned those last 2 years in a commercial banking law firm, that I was not willing to sacrifice my life like that. Associates were expected to work 12 hr days, Monday through Friday, Saturdays were at least 6 hour days, and it only got progressively worse the higher you climbed and as a woman...well, you better hope you were married to a lawyer as well so that they would be understanding of the fact they'd never see you! Sure, the starting pay was phenom, but I'd never be allowed to take a vacation and the debt I'd have to pay back from law school?! Oh god... I think of my monthly payment now and it makes me a tad sick, I can't imagine adding at least another $100,000 on top of that!?

I had worked 8 years, HS and then college, towards this goal, and everyone knew that Rebecca was going to become a lawyer, that when I finally decided, No, I am not instead of facing those feelings, I ate them away. First and foremost, I felt like I had let my family down, I didn't even bother acknowledging the pain, grief and confusion I was going through and instead of being productive for a year, I sat on my ass and twiddled my thumbs until I found my current job that had had possibilities. I wasn't ever truly happy in my job but I moved up the ranks fairly quickly both career wise and financially and it made the job bearable. It's only this past year and half where things have gotten unbearable. Sure, I'm still employed and have been infected minimally financially, but my spirit has been pummeled and it's only now that I feel like I have what I need to change my circumstances.

Even though my confidence has soared as I've lost the weight, I still have a lot of uncertainty. I fear that this won't be it either. That given the economy I won't be able to achieve what I want to. That people will be unsupportive. That I don't believe in myself enough, which is probably the biggest deciding factor in whether or not I achieve my dreams.

It was reassuring knowing that just because I don't have it figured it out yet, doesn't mean I won't. It's ok to make a left turn although you had been going straight for so long and that I too will figure this out.

It'll be ok.

I'll be ok.

Weigh-In #27

Mind Matters:
I think I've hit the wall, I feel completely 100% overwhelmed. What did I get myself into?!

Had a small breakdown last night which included a $0.99 bag of chips, 2 Fun Size Baby Ruths, 2 Kinder Riegel, and some other misc. chips here and there.

I just got home, exhausted, and instead of working out like I had planned, at 9:30 nonetheless, I went to town on the fridge and although Nate tried to reason with me, there was no reasoning. I wanted it and I wanted it all.

and the funny thing is I knew I was being destructive and yet all I could think about while eating it was how it was going to affect the scale today, that should have been motivation enough and it wasn't.

so, a new hurdle. a huge hurdle. and i'll have to tweak my system so that I too can overcome this. I haven't been a morning person for a while now but I must go to the gym before work on Weds/Thurs because working out at 9:30 PM just is not my ideal time.

Food for Thought
so, I've been packing a sandwich to eat while in class Weds/Thurs night and you won't believe this. you see... shortly before I was heading to Germany, we had run out of some groceries and before buying anymore, we went through what we had. Instead of using Arnold Sandwhich Thins for my bread, I used Ezekial bread which I typically only eat on the weekends with my omeletts, but you know what?! It kept me full pretty much all afternoon! So I tried it out on Wednesday... yup ate it at 7 and went without well past nine! Could it be?! That whole grains actually keep you longer, fuller!? Anywhoo...wish I hadn't bought that bulk package of Sandwich Thins from Costco! =/

Fitness
I'm just not working out as often as I'd like. I'm averaging only 4 days a week instead of 5. Funny how just a few weeks ago I was yearning for maintenance when I could only workout 4 times a week. Guess my body got used 5 times a week of intense workouts. I think part of the problem too is that those 4 times haven't been intense. The lifting leaves me wanting more and my cardio has been disappointing too. I tried a new class, Latin Fusion, but the instructor is poorly prepared and repeats the same 3 or 4 steps over and over. Doing the C25K too seems easy but I'm trying really hard to stick to it so that my body, joints, etc. can get used to the pounding again. I dunno, if anything this should be shear motivation to have a better week next week.

This is it!
what does all that work yield!?

a loss of 0.5lbs!

whoot whoot ... I need to step it up next week though, both food wise and exercise wise. I mentioned this earlier in the week, but last weekend was horrendous. I put myself into the red and I just didnt like not having Points available.

I have a busy Saturday,but I will NOT do anything on Sunday besides prepare for the week!

have a good one guys!

OOTD - 1/14/09

whew...so for those of you who follow me on Twitter know that last night was my first day of class, I've mentioned it before but I plan on getting Personal Trainer certified this Spring and decided to take some relevant classes this Winter in preparation.

Which, btw, both PT's whom I sought guidance from, just recommended studying the ACE Manual, but come one now... I have no exercise/science history and I just wouldnt feel comfortable giving someone advice without some knowledge! so yeah, last night was Methods of Teaching Aerobics and tonight is Physiology of Exercise. Needless to say, I know for a fact that I made the right choice by going this route. It will cost me more but it's necessary.

anywhoo... I was mistaken to think just because its a community college it would be easy... I don't think it will be... and....I'm also at a slight disadvantage since my degree is liberal arts based and I pretty much have NO sciences. that's ok though... all in due time.

it's going to be a crazy semester...after class got out last night at 8:50, I hustled to the gym, and left there around 10:30, was in bed by 11:45. wow... I've been very good at trying to be in bed at the latest by 11, most nights between 10 and 10:30. I'll have to tweak my system a tad but I'll figure it out.

and for my OOTD...

let me preface by saying I have no clue why I look like I just took a shat in my pants, but I promise, I didnt!




see ya'll tomorrow for Weigh-In!!!

Rebecca's Lunchbox: Baked Oatmeal

I've mentioned this before but I've been struggling with finding a warm breakfast for the icy winter mornings. One that warms me up, and keeps me relatively full until lunch time. I love cream of wheat, but a) it's not very filling and b) covering it with sugar probably isn't the best start to a morning.

Oatmeal is an obvious other choice and I've tried it pretty much every which way...warm, in pancake form, as a cookie and I have to admit I don't like it unless it's the instant flavored kind, which yeah... doesn't really fit into my clean eating plan.

so, while browsing the recipe forum on the WW site, I stumbled upon this baked oatmeal recipe and since I am in desperate need of a winter breakfast and I have a boatload of oatmeal which I won't be able to utilize for no-bake cookies, I decided to give it a try.

Ingredients:

2 c. uncooked oatmeal
1/2 c. Egg Beaters
1 c. Milk
1/2 c. apple sauce
1/4 c. sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda (unpictured! but called for in the recipe)
2 Tbsp. white chocolate chips (unpictured! not called for in the recipe)

Step 1 & 2

Mix all wet ingredients together.
Mix all dry ingredients.

Then, add dry ingredients to wet.

Step 3
Pour into 8x8 square baking dish and bake for 45 mins. at 350 degrees

voila! serves 6, 4 pts. per serving

some thoughts:

1. Great make ahead meal! I'm on my third day of eating it and it still tastes fresh and isn't soggy! Very important to me!
2. I tried this cold and did not like it. Warm it up when you plan on consuming.
3. Doesn't it look like some sort of bread pudding?
4. I might try 1/8 c. white sugar and 1/8 c. brown sugar next time, or maybe I'll live on the wild side and try all brown sugar.
5. It totally tastes like crumb cake, for real. The texture isn't the same but I swear, it's like having cinnamon-y coffee cake.

Verdict: Totally being added to the breakfast rotation!!

anyone else have any delicious oatmeal recipes? please share!

W(h)ine and Cheese, please!

I'm feeling melancholy today.

Not unusual given the crazy weather and that I've spent more time in the car than should be necessary but I'm also feeling overwhelmed.

I didn't start the week out right, I wasn't able to prepare my foods like I normally do and it's thrown my system off kilter.

Add in that trying to get free money is like pulling the sword from the stone and honestly, at this point I'm almost close to foregoing the grand and just buying the books myself!

It's weird, I expected to feel this overwhelmed in December not in January and feel unprepared. It's not the type that makes me want to eat comfort food, although that urge typically doesn't hit until later in the afternoon/evenings when I am really feeling sorry for myself.

Somethings off, I'm just so exhausted. In bed by 10 and waking up at 6 is a chore.. is it all that extra water I'm drinking that is making me use the restroom twice at night?

I dunno...it's one of those days... but there is one perk...

at least I'm not saying..."ugh...I'm so fat today!" that's one less thing I need to whine about..;)

how are ya'll doin?

Bad Habits Part II

so, back in December when I mentioned to my mutti that I was contemplating switching my weigh-in from Monday to Friday, the first thing she asked me if was if that was a good idea.

Of course, I was offended at first, because who is my mom to tell me I couldn't do it when clearly I had been doing it, but the reality is, my diet history clearly shows that I have weekend issues. Nonetheless, I felt confident that the past 5 months of losing had prepared me to handle the weekends.

I'm sure my weekend issues are similar to everyone else...I let my diet fall by the wayside come Friday and pick it back up on Monday, many pounds heavier, and then wonder why I'm not losing weight?!Not that I did this every Friday, but I liked to ring in the weekend with a pound of M&M's and a Diet Coke, nothing like sweet and refreshing to start off the weekend. and well, yeah... I can't even go into how we ate, because all I remember is lot of gluttonous food..pizza, lunch from Wendys, dinner out and then repeat. No...this time is going to be different. I was not going to be Excuses Emma no longer!

and yes, I had broken a lot of those habits in the last few months, and perhaps I'm still reeling from my month off (when am I going to stop using this as an excuse?!) but this weekend was atrocious. seriously. I am out of Weeklies, my AP's that I have earned so far, and I believe I am in the red, and surprisingly, the scale wasn't too mean to me today. I can't keep this up because it will come back and bite me in the a$$ hard. must. nip. now!

oy vey, it was a good reality check. I know I appear confident here, and for the most part I am but obviously I too struggle and don't have it all figured out. Although I never quit tracking, I'm back to healthy eating today, am determined to reach my goal this week of a normal BMI.

Operation: 154 in full effect!

Weigh - In #26

Week 26... hot damn, that means I've been at this shiznit for half a year! hhhmmm... I guess I would have planned to be at goal by now but we all know that crap doesn't work! I'm averaging a 1.2 lb loss a week which isn't bad and I'm closer than I've ever been, so no complaints here!!

Mind Matters
I dont want to say I freaked myself out last week in preparation for this past week, it's just that I am aware of my previous weight loss pattern.

You see, a few years back, the last time I made it to 169, I was a martyr through Christmas, but I ended up feeling deprived. I felt so deprived that when I came back in January, I sorta made up for it, and that was the beginning of my last downfall. Hot damn... how many times have I lost and regained weight!? Lots but no more I tell you...anywhoo...

I know my diet pattern so I knew I had to tread carefully...carefully, because although I did enjoy most of December, I had to get back on the bull come January and after a month long vacation, it would be rough, and it was. sorta. I mean, I got into some habits I shouldn't have restarted, liking nighttime snacking or frequent consumption of chocolate so those are proving to be difficult to break. It seems the busier I am, the less I do either of the two so I've tried to keep myself busy for the most part.

Food for Thought
Food was great! Seriously... having had all my meals prepped made it that much easier to grab and go. I really can't elaborate on that too much. Anyone interested in seeing what I eat!? Lemme know and I'll gladly do a post!

Fitness
Back to the gym, doing The New Rule of Lifting for Women that I started last Spring shortly before my back gave out. Back then this workout seemed hard. Not difficult but harder than what I had been doing, now... it seems easy. Too easy! Jillian really made me rock hard, with 4 workouts a week at roughly an hour to an hour and a half. The NRLW is at max 3 workouts a week, at only a half hour now which well... leaves me wanting more!!! I'm contemplating trying out Turbulence Training, I know Susan swears by it, but does anyone else?! I really feel like I'm already losing some muscle definition I gained while doing Jillian's workout and I vowed to myself I'd never let myself get back to my starting point.

I'm also playing around with the C25K Program, for those newer to my site, I used to be a 'runner', back before my back issues, but then I quit for a good year (I ran for that year that I got back down to 169) I tried getting back into it but the extra weight and my loss of speed/endurance made me give up fairly quickly. Although I dabbled with it here and there, once my back gave out the second time(lastSpring), it was advised to me by the Dr. that I should probably lose a good 40 lbs before I attempted it again, so hopefully I'm not doing too much damage starting out with only a 33lb loss.

So, yeah, I'm trying to figure out where I should start. I feel like Week 1 was much too simple, so the next time I tried with Week 2, and that still felt easy so tomorrow I'll probably try Week 3 which I am thinking will be the right place for me start at. I hope to be able to run the St. Patty's Day race in Corktown on March 14th. I would love to start my running career again.. It's truly one of those things that brings me a lot of satisfaction.

Not only that but.... I want to be able to call myself an athlete and can you call yourself one when all you do is spend time in the gym? Sure, I'll never give up the Hip Hop or spin class or the weights but I don't want to be confined to the stereotype of gym user only, ya know?

This is it!
So, that brings us to this weeks weigh-in...drumrollplease....

a loss of 2.5 lbs!

whoot whoot...

Firts off, I'd like to thank myself for all the hard work and dedication I proved to myself this week. Then to all of you for your kind words on all of my posts. and then to the academy....hahahahahaha... what can I say?! There needs to be some humor!

but no really, the hard work starts this week where I start school (AAHHHHH!!! I can't believe I'm actually going back to see if I want to get a second degree!!!) I'll need to be prepared, dedicated and obviously motivated to continue on with how I've been doing. I really hope I have it all in me.

That means a weekend chock full of cooking and preparing for this upcoming crazy week!

have a safe and warm one!

OOTD Thursday - 1/7/10

If there is one thing I let slide to the wayside when I got big was style.

I've never been ueber-fashionable, preferring quality classic pieces over trendy seasonal ones and although I wasn't always great at putting pieces together, I always felt I looked good. I've always had a penchant for expensive designer labels that quickly fell to wayside the bigger I got, since most didn't cater to bigger sizes.

I'm not even sure how I stumbled across fashion blogs but needless to say I did and I've been smitten ever since. I only follow a handful, Chloe and Tiffany being two of my favorites, and I <3 these ladies and look forward to whenever they post! So, yes, these ladies have awoken a desire in me that I haven't felt in forever.

I'd say it happened last Summer, for those that were around, remember these posts, well, it was me dabbling around with Lookbooks, and accessories and styling. In theory my outfits were solid, maybe a little bland but decent, if you ignore the overweight girl in them.... thankfully I got my things in order fairly quickly thereafter and as the weight has been coming off, so has my desire to be a fashionista.

I still struggle with seeing the "thinner" me and hope that along with posting my outfits, I can also begin to realize who this new person is. I remember the last time I weighed 136, I must have not been 21 yet because we were in Canada, where the legal drinking age is 19, and I felt smokin' and yet I still felt like I had to lose more weight. I don't want to get to my goal this time and still feel like it's not good enough. See a fat person staring back at me instead of the thin person I have become. If I can achieve this, I think I'll be golden.

so, my outfit today...


I would have never guessed I'd be wearing a top (that is truly ancient! I've kept this around from my thinner days.. so its at least 5 years old!) tucked into a skirt/pants and not worry about belly rolls etc. crazy i tell you...it's all crazy!?

weigh-in tomorrow...wonder how i did... I get at least an A+ for sticking to my eating and workout plan...lets hope the scale shows that!

Rebecca's Luchbox - Miracle Maize Corn Muffins

Disclaimer this is not a paid advertisement but me enjoying a product well enough that I figure'd I'd share it with you guys.

It's been a while since I've done one of these but I definately plan on making it a regular comeback in 2010!! Wish I would have stayed on it more religiously at the end of last year because Trader Joe had some rockin! Christmas goodies! oh well... I'll be sure to highlight them next year!

If there is one thing I am realizing about this journey is that I am trying foods I once disliked, or even new foods I'd never tried before, and actually enjoying them!

One of them being sweet corn bread, oh lord... how I love me some Boston Market corn bread, and in an effort to find a suitable replacement I began my search for the perfect corn bread recipe.

Yeah...I'm a guessing a boxed mix isn't really a recipe but the recipe I did find was well, time consuming, meaning I had to buy a few different boxed mixes and then I feared I would have a freezer full of cornbread. oh, and of course, I was crunched for time...so as I was meandering the baked goods boxed aisle, Miracle Maize only had a few boxes left in their section and hell... if they are almost sold out, that must mean they are good right!?

Anywhoo...the first time I made this, I made it per the directions but yeah... it had too many points for me to be comfortable eating it so the second time around I swapped out the oil for applesauce and me likey! i'd still prefer the Boston Market loafs but these are a great substitution that I will continuously reach for to kill that craving without breaking the bank and that is what a huge part of this journey is about, but I'll save that for another day.

Ingredients:

Mix it all together now:

In the oven they go:

Voila!:

Anyone have a cornbread recipe they love!? Hit me up with it!

Weigh-In #25

Mind Matters

Two weeks is such a long time, I'm not really quite sure where to begin or what to talk about so I'll stick to what consumed my thoughts the most.

1)Waking up the next day and weighing 188 pounds

The two previous weeks to my time in Germany, I put myself onto maintenance, never really freaking out if I was up 2, maintained or even lower because well... that's the part of living normally, sans weight obsession, with daily weight fluctuations.

Then when I went off to Germany, I gave myself a 2 lb gain pass, and it was probably then that I started getting paranoid. Everyday I expected to wake up, stepping on the scale and seeing 188lbs. Every day I was gauging how tight my clothes were compared to when I was back at home. I notice weight gain in my stomach first, and have spent so much time analyzing how my stomach looks at various weights, that I could tell you exactly what I weigh by how far out/in my stomach is protruding, but yeah... that's probably not normal or healthy. What can I say?! I'm still a work in progress.....

Looking back now, I'm still deciding if giving myself that pass was the right thing to do, mentally. I guess it kept me on toes,but it was nerve wrecking too. In times past, a gain would lead to the inevitable gaining of all of it plus some, but I knew deep down that this time was different. For realz. You see, I was talking to my mom about the gain and she asked me if I lived (in reference to eating and enjoying the food) while I was in Germany, and that answer was difficult for me answer, but I'll expound more on that in Food for Thought since it dealt with my eating.

I guess it's good that I'm aware of all of this, since I do want to be part of the clique that loses it and maintains it, but I wonder if that fear of regaining the weight could be counterproductive as well. I guess Ill just have to find out.

2) Can I get back on the wagon when I get back from "vacation/the Holiday season"
Yes.. I thought about this because a) I'm not done losing weight yet and b) having put myself onto maintenance and succeeding at it, frick... it's nice to see you don't have to be as strict as you are while trying to lose weight. It makes it all seem a tad less intimidating, that living a healthy life isn't always going to be as time consuming as it is now. Don't think I'm saying I can go back to my old ways...no I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that I seem to be doing well without tracking everything that I put into my pie hole, and once you've been doing WW for a while, or even counting calories for that fact, you sorta know what you are eating anyways so it seems that even if I'm not writing it down, I am tallying it up in my head. Nonetheless, I am really dreading the amount of work I go back to Sunday. I'm sure after just a few days back on the program, it'll seem normal again! I'll let you know how that works out...;)

Food for Thought
My eating while in Germany is very different from what I eat here.

My breakfast before the winter months had been a green monster and unfortunately I am still struggling to find the breakfast that not only keeps me full but also leaves me not craving sweets early in the morning, but I admit that I try to not have grainy carbs at breakfast, and if I do, not have them be the star of the show but more like the supporting actor.

In Germany, well, the morning starts out with a broetchen , topped with quark, think of greek yogurt but with a thicker consistency, and jelly or miscellaneous wurst. A breakfast that easily has 1.5 to 2 times as many calories as I typically consume. Not only that, but I could easily eat 2 broetchen at once, I definitely don't need two, but they are so delicious... besides 2 days, arrival and departure, I stuck to my one broetchen and the 5 minute boiled egg .

I was typically so full that there were very few days, I was even hungry in the afternoon, which caused some tension because a) my grandpa wanted to have kaffee and b) Nate would usually be hungry by the time afternoon rolled around and if my Opa heard that I didn't want anything he would fore go kaffee but then Nate would be all upset because he couldn't eat and I swear.... FOOD IS NEVER SIMPLE IN MY HOUSEHOLD!!!

By dinner time I was usually hungry and was able to eat decent sizes without going overboard, I think I only ate once to access that my stomach actually hurt. If anything, the food I ate was just considerably more calorie dense than I would eat at home. The cuts of meat perhaps fattier and a tad larger, more carbs, and less veggies. Given the short amount of time I was there and the fact I rarely get to enjoy German food. I wasn't going to beat myself up over it. If anything, I only over did it with the bunte teller. It just goes to show me that I have a sensitivity to sugar, the minute I get some, I crave MORE!!!and yes, my family and I typically went through an entire plate of these sweet goodies every night!

So yeah.. to answer my mom's question... I definitely ate what I wanted, within reason. Sure, I could have eaten 2 broetchen, but I didn't. Sure, I could have had kaffee und kuchen every afternoon but I didn't. When we went to the Weihnachtsmarkt, I ate but didn't eat through every stand. I had a bite from both of Phil's, my bro, and Nate's and then what I ate, I shared with them. So I had a sampling of everything, without really having a real meal, and yet I was full afterwards. I did eat whatever I wanted, just cconsiderably less than I had in years past.

Workin on my Fitness

Uhm yeah... I got 1 workout in. It was on Christmas Eve, and my grandpa was out running errands and Nate and I were able to do a P90X DVD without "bothering" him. We did go for an hour walk on the 26th, but other than that... not all too much. Wish I could have done more since it seems like it only takes a few days for your body to start breaking down. Oh well.. I'm back in the gym now and that's all that matters!

This is it!

so after 2 weeks gone....I

gained 2 lbs!!

I put on the last pound while back in the States. and honestly, my eating has been a tad atrocious since I've been back. A combination of not having any food in the house, and still ringing in the New Year have led me to eat some questionable food. Regardless, I'm quite happy with my 3 week experiment. Just wish that I wasn't dreading buckling down again.

I'll let you know how I'm feeling early in the week... wish me luck as I climb back on the bull!