I've been thinking of this post probably since I left for Germany, mainly because so many people put so much emphasis on the last post of the year. A nice recap one could say of the success or failure of the last year and if there was one word to describe 2009, it would be
My determination, conviction, resolution were unexpected.
Yes... I did not expect to be a success.
No, I didn't believe I could lose the weight. Like so many previous times, and well there have been a few times, I mean hello...I've had this blog for almost 4 years now, I just set out to lose some weight. I started July 6th, one baby step at a time, with a notion that if I was going to do it now I had to make real life changing changes, and so I did. For once, I didn't write out a nice little chart that if I lost x-amount per week, I'd be at goal weight by Christmas. No.. I just focused on today, and then the next day and the day after that, and 6 months passed and voila...I was down 32.5 lbs.
32.5 lbs isn't the world in this blogging community, but for me it was huge. With each pound I lost, I gained back a pound of confidence, belief in myself, belief I deserve more than I had been giving myself, belief that I deserved to stand up for myself, belief that I needn't be a door mat to whomever thought could walk over me.
That's by far the most rewarding change I've experienced having lost this weight.
The belief I am worth it.
I had to grow up, a lot, to get here. I had to stop playing the victim and own up to the fact that I was creating my own demise. I've had my share of stuff handed to me, but I definitely wasn't the one with a silver spoon in her mouth and somehow the past few years and turned me into a selfish person who expected to have everything handed to her instead of me working for it.
I guess I'm finally realizing that. I am in charge of my own destiny. Only I can make myself happy, that I am my own Prince(ss) Charming.
If 2009 was an indicator of how good a year can be, I can not wait for 2010!
I have no specific New Year resolutions, the plan is to reach goal weight, figure out what the hell I want to do with my life and get my home in order. All of which I am pretty confident I can achieve next year. All of which I will make sure to achieve next year because I can do it. I know this now.
I can do anything I put my mind and 100% of my energy too is doable. You just have to want it enough.
For all my fellow bloggies, I wish you the best for 2010. I hope you reach your goals, over and above of what you expected. There is no greater feeling than having reached what you set your mind to but then realizing you even blew that out of the water. Everyone deserves to experience that.
See you next year!