Weigh - In #21

are you serious?! I had been counting down to the Thanksgiving break since the beginning of November, and please tell me how, HOW did it go by so fast!?

I truly had a fabulous weekend, although I don't feel rejuvenated, I have been able to cross off a lot on my to-do list!

The house is cleaned and decorated (next weekend we put up the tree!) and I started on my baking! There is nothing nicer than waking up and walking into your kitchen and being greeted by freshly baked cookies.

Food

If there is one thing I can say about this weekend is that I lived. I can't look back and regret any choices.

Wednesday night, Nate and I went out for dinner, a movie and then met up with some friends at a bar. Point wise, I had more than I budgeted for (which hurt me Thursday) but I ate reasonably and only had 1 drink. Thursday, although not disastrous, did involve more Points again, which then pushed me into the red. Yes, I was in the hole 12 Points... ones I knew I could make up for but it meant I had to be very, very strict Friday and Saturday.

Friday, for the first time in ever,I wanted to continue the celebration. Did I? No... I stuck to my Point budget for the day and kept busy cleaning.

Saturday my hunger/desire to eat was back in check. Got back into the green but with peeps over for game night, went back into the red with alcohol and some snacks.

Sunday, back to it, cleared myself Point wise again.

Overall, I ended the week with a break even, which is good. It goes to show me I can enjoy the holiday without going too overboard. I think like so many other people, I just want the holiday to continue so I am tried my hardest to really limit my eating and drinking to special occasions, enjoy them and go right back to my routine the next day. I was able to do it this past week, but I'm not quite ready yet to celebrate. Talk to me in January! ;)

Fitness

The plan was 6 days but I only managed 5. Date night with Nate Wednesday evening was a tad more important than hitting the gym. I still managed to burn 3500 cals for the week though. Since I did miss a day, I made sure to give my workouts just a tad more oommpphhh, so that I was able to maximize my burn and overall am pretty happy with turn out.

I start my last two workout weeks with Jillian this week and will finally be able to say that I completed her entire routine!!!

This is it!
so, how'd I do......

I....maintained!

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a tad bummed but realistically I had two HUGE losses the previous two weeks, and I did eat ALL of my allotted Points this past week... I should be ecstatic I maintained my weight.

It's a rush losing the weight though and well, that rush is missing this week. That's ok though because I truly had a fabulous weekend!

I ate, I drank, I enjoyed myself without going overboard and being able to show a maintain is pretty damn dawg impressive!

The past 5 month's Nate and I have really controlled our food, we stopped going to certain restaurants and we both decided that we need to figure out how we can incorporate those back into our rotation. Neither of us wants to completely give them up and I'm thinking this may be the time to start eating at places other than Panera or Subway!

So, plans for this week...nothing other than continue with my baking, fitting in my workouts and getting ready for the weekend, and boy do we have a big one planned.

Friday night out to dinner with friends to celebrate a bitrhday and then Saturday I am hosting Nikolaus at my house. Yes, both events centered around food! lets see how I do next Monday!

but enough about me.... how did YOU guys do!?

pep talk- i hope

alright ladies, today is the day to get your head in the game, so let me attempt a pep talk here.

between the blogging community and real-life peeps, I see a trend where they want to lose weight but just can't seem to find 'it'.

For those that I know personally, the compliments stopped coming at 20 pounds, but yesterday I got ambushed with "I can't believe how skinny you are getting! I really should be doing what your doing, Weight Watchers, right? I just can't count Points. I just dont have the time for it."

I've learned though that all I can do is smile, nod and say Thank You for the compliment, when really I want to tell them this.

I'm not any more special than you. I don't possess any special powers that allow me to be more successful at this journey than you. I don't have any more money, and just as many hours and stressors in my life as you do. Althought it may not be the same stress, I'm sure it's amplified just as yours is.

Yes, I may pay for Weight Watchers and my fancy gym but with TV, the internet, libraries (for renting DVD's and books) you have the same options I do.

The only difference perhaps is that I truly want this. That nothing is as important to me right now as dropping the weight so that I can be content in my skin.

I'm slowly getting there. I don't worry about belly rolls when sitting at my desk. I don't worry about being the biggest girl at parties anymore. I can actually focus on the conversation instead of worrying about how much space I take up.

I can't give you the drive, and I understand we all need to figure out how to get our drive, but this I can give you.

I, 100% believe that YOU can do this.

It's not easy, don't even think that for a second. Don't even think that it's going to be fair because yes, you will have to sacrifice to get what you want. It could be going to the gym instead of happy hour or losing sleep because you just cant find any other time to work out so you do it before work.

I'll also state the obvious, that foods you may love, well, you'll have to at least cut back the quantity you had been consuming, but at the same time you'll experiment and try new foods and learn that hello?! you may not even want that junk you had been feeding your body. That spaghetti squash is actually a pretty damn good substitute to noodles for spaghetti!

Yes, meal preparation, tracking and shopping is tedious. I dedicate an entire day on my weekend to it but it's worth it when I step on that scale and show a loss and eventually it becomes a part of your life. You'll do it without thinking twice and you'll figure out ways to work for you.

Do I even need to talk about the payoffs?!

and because I know YOU can do this, just do it!

seriously, start with one foot in front of the other, if you stumble and fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start again! don't berate yourself, this is the time that you need to be most loving to yourself because you are undergoing some major life style changes. and from my own personal experience, berating myself never motivated me! if anything it just pushed me even further towards food.

don't wait until Friday, or after the Holidays or even January 1st, start now! so that come January 1st you wont hate yourself a little more for having gained 10 more pounds.

the secret to all of this is, just doing it. every second of every minute of every hour, of every day.

we all stumble and fall, but the key is to getting back up immediately and starting all over again.

so lets do this!

enjoy your meal tomorrow (i mean this ladies!! because I know I am!).

One meal won't ruin your weigh-in, a weekend will though.

yours truly,

Weigh - In #20

I can't believe I've been at this for 20 weeks! That's 5 months since I came back from my va-cay and decided this was it! It really doesn't seem like 5 months though, I swear, it feels like I just started yesterday which hopefully attests to the fact that I don't view the changes I have made as 'diet-y', but life long sustaining ones. ;)

Mind Matters
Since my lull a week or two back, I've been feeling great! I don't know if the extra stress I was putting on myself was just too much or the fact that I'm trying to be more loving to myself by not beating myself up for every thing I can't accomplish on my endless to-do list!

However as I head into the beginning-of-the-end all week/month, I'm ready to tackle T-Day with a vengeance. I've got my game face on and my game plan in place, so bring it on Turkey Day!

I know this comes off a tad cocky but honestly, I just feel prepared. I know Thanksgiving is only a holiDAY and that with some extra workouts and mindful eating the other days, I may be able to pull off a victory next Monday (or so I thought....). oh snap!

Fitness
4 days of working out is something I could get used too, and will, once I hit maintenance. I just feel so much more in the game with 3 days of rest. When I do get to the gym, my minds focused, I'm ready to work hard and I don't lolligag. I grab my gear and hit the mat.

But, since it is Thanksgiving week, and I plan on enjoying it, it only makes sense that I put some extra time in the gym this week.

Food

I'm probably making the bigger changes here. 1 day less of cardio just means I need less calories, On days where I am not working out I try to only eat my Daily Point Target, which was rough 2 weeks ago, but is getting easier.

I can't decide if eating only my DP's is like forming a habit where once you do it for so many consecutive days it just comes natural, or whether I had been overfeeding my body?! It's working so I'm just gonna roll with it.

I'm budgeting for 27oo calories on Thursday. I know, I know, sounds like a lot but I'm figuring if I give myself a maximum that perhaps it may not end as high as I anticipate it to be. Plan is to only eat my favorites. You see, I feel it's 'nice' to try a little bit of everything, even if I know I'm not a fan of mashed potatoes but not this year...I'm using my calories smart and eating a half of plate full of stuffing, a 1/4th a plate full of cornbread casserole and the other half will be turkey with cranberry sauce! oh, another dessert plate will hold me some pumpkin pie...holla! can you tell I am excited for Thanksgiving!? Oh my gosh... I CAN. NOT. WAIT!!!

This is it!

so what does this all bring me to?!

a loss of 3.5 lbs!!

say, WhAt?! are you kidding me?! like really?! would you believe me if I told you that I bent over and kissed the scale?!

honestly, not in my wildest dreams did I expect such a huge loss... seriously... I've learned to always anticipate on the lesser end of what you really want to lose. and... two weeks in a row!? this also means I may have to reassess my goal for next Monday. I'm a tad concerned, but I can't worry about that now.

I'm going to enjoy being in the 150's!!!!!

Trainer Update

so...I had my trainer appointment last night with Bobby.

Got to the gym a tad early and warmed up on the stair climber for 15 minutes, and then off we went to the secret hallway only the trainers use.

Bobby had 5 Super sets planned but we only ended up doing 4 because of time and me being whooped. seriously, i thought I had my shit together, I mean, I wasn't breezing through workouts but they (obviously they have gotten easier and tonight showed me I can definitely up my weights a tad more than i have been.

Workout:
1st set:
walking lunges with a medicine ball over my head, once i reached the end of the hallway
jump on the bosu and do squats with the med ball in front of me
lunge back

through the med ball on the ground and shuffle

2nd set:
one legged lunges/jumps
kettle ball swings

3rd set:
plank walk (start in plank position (use a step) then walk to the right, back to center, knees in, walk to the left and repeat)

side plank will pushing your arm out with a db, side plank dips

4th set:
plank rows
at a pulley machine, bring pulley system down to lowest, attach a rope go into squat and when you stand up bring rope up over your head


For an hour and twenty minutes I burned 800 cals! I can't remember the last time I burnt that over an hour! I've been averaging 550/600 for an hour a half so this was great! On top of that we only used a handful of equipment, stuff I mostly have minus a bosu, kettle ball or medicine ball but the last two are fairly inexpensive and he showed me alternatives where I wouldn't need any of the above.


I know a few peeps thought he was hitting on me but he is married and didn't push any sessions on me. I could see myself going to him when I really want to 'define' myself. It was something different and I don't regret going.


which brings me to another question, is it 'unethical' to see if a trainer would train someone under the table? yes, yes, I am thinking of asking if he would do that. he was saying he wishes he could be more booked but $75 an hour is steep and I doubt he takes that home, but I'm torn. advice?

Rebecca's Lunchbox - Christmas Cookies and Weihnachts Plaetzchen

Ladies ladies ladies... it's (almost) exactly 1 week to Thanksgiving which means it's only roughly 10 days until I need to start baking.

yupper doodles... if I don't do it by Thanksgiving weekend, it most likely won't get done!

last year my Grandpa complained I didn't bring the left over cookies with us and with my dad overseas, who definitely deserves a care package, I must bake this year!

honestly... I love, love, love baking! and I refuse to not use sugar, butter, etc. just because I am losing weight. This is also probably why I never, ever bake. The cakes are too big and our stomachs are too small, and well, I haven't really mastered the art of freezing yet. note: must grill Opa about this, this Christmas!

so, I figured I'd list you some of the masterpieces I typically bake up around this time. I know, I know, you want pictures...and you'll get those come November 30th where I am kicking off a Christmas Cookie aka Weihnachts Plaetzchen Extravaganza!

So, if you want a peak of others handywork, I'll link my list to various pictures on Flickr, or elsewhere, so you can at least get a taste of what is to come.

1. Zimtsterne
2. Vanillekipferl
3. Spekulatius - ok, lemme be honest here, I do not make this but buy them. first off, I dont have the cookie cutters and secondly, a German company bakes these and they are so good, I just don't even bother...
4. Kokosmakronen - now these are a tad different in Germany because the coconut heap sits on this thin waferlike (think Communion for us Catholics) sheet. i typically make mine without and these are my only weakness! the rest of the cookies i can do without!
5. Spitzbuben - the ones I typically make dont look anything like this particular one but isn't it beautiful?!
   
6. Butter cookie with a delicious glaze.. i can't find a picture of it and it's fairly new in my line-up. My grandmother never made these but they were a huge hit with Nate, who generally hates any other cookie but oatmeal and oreos!

so, that is it... I promise in two weeks, you'll not only see my cookies but I'll also post the recipe, in case anyone is interested.

Now, my question to you! What are some of your favorite MUST BAKE Holiday items!? I would love to add some new items to my repertoire, so please, PLEASE (I'm on my knees begging here ladies and gents) leave a comment, or recipe so I can try out some new things!

Weigh-In #19

I wish I had something insightful to say but today I'm at a loss for words.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say we all know what we need to do, eat less and workout.

It's just doing it, consistently, that is the hard part for most of us.

I've recently become a believer that our success depends more on what is going into our mouthes than the time we spend in the gym. Sure, the gym may help creating a larger burn and even prevent skin from becoming too saggy, but at the end of the day we just need to eat less than our actual body needs.

with that, I lost 3.5 lbs this week.

The largest amount I've lost since Week 6, where I lost 3 lbs.

What did I do? It was purely the success of my Nazi-shdiligent Weight Watcher Point tracking.

The reality is my caloric burn just isn't that great anymore and with me seriously scaling back my exercise this past week, I had to re-assess how I ate. On days I didn't work out, I tried to eat as closely as to my Daily Target as possible. On days I worked out, I tried not to consume more than 5 extra points, my anticipated burn, and although I did dip into my Weekly Points a tad as well, but obviously my overall plan is working.

Who would have guessed that after all these years, I'd still be able to eek out a weight loss in November!? not me, and that is a fact.

Halloween was usually the beginning of the end for my diet, but not this year... this year, I'm pulling through, straight to the New Year!

Rebecca's Lunchbox - Tortilla Encrusted Tilapia

I often ask you guys what your stand-by's are when you need something fast and furious on the dinner table, because unfortunately... sometimes I am just too tired/bored/lazy to put the effort forth!

This is another one of my back-ups. Total baking time is only 12 mins., but with the heating of the oven maybe a total of 20?

I have to admit when I first saw this, I was skeptical first of all because the price seemed to be too good to be true.

This box is $10, I think, and contains 9 fillets (although I think it's more because typically I have 1 filet, Nate and my bro each have one and then share a half and we typically get 4 dinners out of a box...I think!).

Nutritional Information is muy importante! I'm ashamed to just now realize how long the ingredient list is....eeekkkk...

and served! with a side of salad (uh yeah... i remembered to take the picture after i had already eaten a substantial amount of salad!)


Verdict: Honestly, I love it! It is so easy and fast that while the fish is cooking, we are usually preparing the salad. It's slightly spicy but nothing wild and we sometimes serve it with the Trader Joe's chimichurri rice (that I have yet to review!) for a very Caribbean inspired meal!

If I were to have a gripe it would be that the fillets are on the smaller side. Great portion control for sure but I could probably eat 1.5 to 2 fillets.

Sssooooo...I ask you this every week and I'm gonna ask you again... any easy freezer, pantry stables you guys run too when time is short?

I know Susan loves her Kashi Fiery Rice, I've seen Nic feature a Kashi frozen meal or two... anyone else want to list of what their go to item?

excuse me... what's yerrrrr name?!

let me first apologize that I do not have my pics uploaded for today's lunchbox. in all of the excitement last night, i forgot.

oooppppssssss, my bad, but seriously, something happened last night at the gym that totally made my day, hell even my week! but... i promise to upload them tonight so i can post tomorrow! hot damn... 4 (maybe 5) posts this week?!

back story...

ya'll know how I'm doing Jillian's Winning by Losing (I know, I know, I said Making the Cut on my vlog....ooooppppssssss.....oh and btw.... starting Week 9 tomorrow...holla! that means only 3 weeks left and I've completed the entire routine!) and for that program, you need some stuff.

I'm usually lugging around this lil tote bag that has my weight lifting gloves, my jump rope, my notebook, pen, and Ipod. Then in the free weight area, I try to snag a corner where I can set myself up...my mat, weights, ball (these guys are always hard to come by!) and possible step bench. Needless to say, i always feel a tad silly. Most people are in this area with nothing but themselves, bumming around without a plan until their hour must be up and they depart, whereas me.. I'm bopping all over the place. Either doing routines right in my lil area or going to and fro from machines. Yes, I have felt self conscious although the longer I've been doing it, the less I care, mostly because I end up zoning into my own little world, focusing on form, not looking like a complete fool, breathing...

Yesterday was no different, and as I was in the midst of a hack squat, mouthing to my brother "keep on walking!" (i hate to say it but he's lazy and if could, would stroll on the treadmill at 2.0) when I see a guy waving his hands in front of my face. annoyed, because I am in the middle of a squat and since I got to the gym much later than anticipated, the last thing i want to do is small talk. the plan was to get in and get out, but ok... i pause my ipod, take out my earphones and this ensues..

Guy: Hi...I've seen you around here. You've lost some weight.
Me: Hi... yeah, I have.
Guy: Yeah..I'm a trainer and I've seen you in here quite a bit. Either in this corner or in that corner doing your thing.
Me: .....nodding...yeah....
Guy: I think it's great that your seeing rewards. So often people just come in here, dilly dally and then leave, but I really see a difference in you. How much have you lost now?
Me: Thanks....uhm...roughly 25 lbs.
Guy: That is awesome! How long has it taken you?
Me: Thanks...I've been at it for about 5 months now.
Guy: Great! Well, I just wanted to let you know your doing a great job!
Me: Thanks...
Guy: oh, by the way... I'm Bobby. What's your name?
Me: Nice meeting you Bobby. I'm Rebecca.
Bobby: Good meeting you too.. I'll see you around.

SHUT UP!? I swear that was such a surreal moment.... I've seen this guy around but he was out of his PT uniform and like I said, I wanted to get in and out so I was solely focusing on my routine.

and this brings me to a whole 'nother point. I so often see posts in various boards about how people feel stupid going to the gym because they don't know what they are doing or they feel silly because they are overweight and there but you know what... just get out there an do it! Hell... I still feel silly in the free weight area. When I first started out I was huffing and puffing. No one at the gym does jumping jacks, mountain climbers, or jumps rope... so yeah, as an overweight person, you stand out. and not that i know certain PT trainers were talking about me to their clients, I definitely questioned whenever I looked up and caught both looking at me, but you know what...5 months later, and a PT noticed.

a PT noticed a gym member slimming down and buffing up, without the help of a PT!

but no.... my story isn't over yet.... as i'm doing bench dips, bobby comes up to me again this time in uniform....

Bobby: Hey...How about I train you next week? (me: probably look annoyed and already on the defensive) Free of charge, promise. I think you've been doing great but try something new. I promise it will be fun.
Me: (I'll admit I was totally him hawing because come on now... I know he thinks he can get a client out of me but honestly... I wouldn't let half of our PT's train me, and HELLO.... obviously I can do it on my own) Alright. Why not. (Because yeah...why not?! at least I get a free session out of it!)

so yeah...next Wednesday 7 o'clock... although I may switch it to Tuesday now due to some family obligations....but.....

I just had to share...I'm so geeked!!! and totally reinforced that I am doing ok and that I won't give up now, because I really have come so far!

and isn't that the lesson learned... don't give up. you may not notice a change 1 month in, the change may be minimal in month 2 but if we always give up after month 3, we'll never know what we can truly achieve. and how often have we given up after a few weeks!?

We can do this ladies and gents... we just have to power through our lulls!

Mid Day Check In

how rare of me to check in before Wednesday but well, things are better (not great but better for sure) and i thought it's only fair that i spread some love and not just my misery.

oh and did i mention you guys are great. really, thank you! i don't say this enough but it really helps knowing others are going through this as much as i am.

one step at a time is really helping me out. it's not necessarily what i want to be doing but I catch myself before i get all caught up about the week or what else i need to accomplish, and reign it back in. i need to focus on today or even now, only.

i was tempted to work out last night but didn't. i wanted too for sure but i'm already on the verge of burn out and just can't afford it. today my bag is packed and it's the second stop before heading home.

it continually amazes me how long it takes to build muscle and just how fast they start breaking down. my 3 day break really left me feeling like a puddle of fat. it's obviously not the case but i can already feel less definition of my bicep and quadricep.

i'm really more focused today than i was yesterday. crossing over that 165 line, I had been seeing low 160's last week, freaked me out. it's funny how going down, 166 felt great, but having been at 162 and bouncing back up to 166 feels bad. horrible. fat. and it's not anything i want to experience again. i want to reach my 30 lb goal before i leave for Germany. it should be more than doable, and I would be ecstatic if I could reach 35 lbs lost. what can i say?! it just added to my motivation.

i've also changed up my eating this week, focusing more on salads for my meals and not as much processed soups so I'm hoping the mad cravings I experienced Sunday get put back to rest. life, for me, is easier when not experiencing these mad cravings and it continues to amaze me just how easily they can be triggered. it just reinforces to me that I am making the right choices when it comes to me eating.

that's it... just wanted to let ya'll know... it's all good in the hood.. =)

Weigh-In #18

Mind Set
This time of year always gets so busy and on top of the job situation, I'm just not a happy camper. I'm trying to stay positive and only focus on one day at a time but I like looking at the big picture. You know, once all the hard work has been done and I can just look and enjoy the fruits of my labor.

I need to stop focusing on what is going to happen in 3 weeks and make sure I get through today. I think I've let that little tidbit get away from me and unfortunately that is so very important in weight-loss. I need to focus on the steps that have made me successful and maybe, just maybe start saying No to a few obligations.

Food
The past two weeks have been hellish on my eating routine. The weekends have solely been spent eating out or out of routine. I could change it, refuse to go out, but it's life. This is a life style change and I only have now to figure out how to deal with it.

If anything, this has always been my biggest struggle. It is exactly why I've given up eating out as much I had. Sodium, portion size, preparation method... you can request all you want but in the end you don't really know what you are being served.

On top of that, I go through these phases were making a healthy choice is the last thing I want to do but I do it, and then resent what the healthy choice I just made only to unleash a ferocious binge.

Since we were staying with friends, I really tried not to be difficult. I was in control of my Saturday breakfast/lunch choices and with dinner I just flowed with it. They had swedish meatballs, egg noodles, salad and green bean casserole. I loaded up my plate with mostly salad, some green bean casserole and the salad bowl had the swedich meatballs and noodles. Sunday morning we had a great brunch of eggs, bacon and pancakes.

While at the race, I definitely enjoyed it more than I had planned, but it was by no means a free for all. There were these delicious homemade butterscotch cookies. I think I had 6 or 8, I can't remember but they were out of this world and I enjoyed every single one of them. I had a few chips here and there, maybe 4 french bread slices with some spinach dip, a few chips with guacamole... it definitely wasn't years of past.

Nonetheless, yesterday was hard for me, getting back into the groove of portioned eating. I had ice cream straight from the container and threw a 3 yr. olds tantrum when I couldn't have a CoolRanchDoritossnack at 10 when I was hungry. This is truly the first time, that I struggled getting my eating under control. I don't know if it was the sodium on top of all the processed food I ate this weekend, but all I wanted was more chips and chocolate!

Lesson learned: Friday on the way up to our friends cottage, I decided to "save" some points and skip my usual snack. well, in the name of hunger, i bought some reduced fat pringles, thinking I could have 1 serving...1 serving turned in 5. I was still hungry and ate the same amount of Points had I just eaten my jogurt snack. I know this. I have become so very aware that snacks like 100 calorie snack packs just do not fill me up. I need substantial food. Yes, I wanted to save Points for Saturday but instead I felt grumpy and hungry!

Fitness
I took an extra day off last week. Hey... shopping was more important on the list than working out. What what?! If that isn't an indication I'm not feeling it anymore, I don't know what is?!

I enjoyed my 3 days off and although I am not ready to go back, I must. Today is my off day but tomorrow I'll be back in the saddle. I've decided I may lay off the extra cardio I've been doing and just do my Jillian routine. I'm two days behind now and I have to catch up. It'll probably take me 2 weeks to get back on track.

Out of all times to burn out, the holiday season is not it!!! argh.....

This is it!
I gained 0.5 lbs!

fitting for my mood eh? and..... I don't care, which has me a tad concerned.

On one hand, I'm ecstatic... a half pound is nothing and probably just all the sodium from last nights sushi dinner.

On the other hand, nonchalant-ness is bad. very bad, and usually the beginning of the end. read: weight gain!

Obviously, life and other stressors are getting me down, but I have been a chronic dieter.

I am now trying to break this cycle, conquer it or at least learn to live with it, and thats hard!
I'm basically trying to retrain certain thinking and I know it will get easier, it just feels overwhelming at times, which brings me back to my 1st point..

one step at a time...

Dreamin' small

I've been having a rough week.

I don't know if I am just getting burnt out from all the working out, change in nutrition but damn, my body has not been cooperating.

It all started with calve aches, I blamed my almost year old shoes, so I got new ones but I'm not sold yet. My ankle started hurting Wednesday while working out. It only seems to flare up when I was jump roping and going up and down stairs.

My mood is just all over the place. I blame a lot of it on my job. I know I shouldn't complain but I hate it right now. It sucks so bad I actually think of all the stuff I could/would want to eat. I haven't had such thoughts in well, forever! I've been so grouchy, I've even been considering switching to maintenance for the rest of the year! WHAT!? I know... who is this person who's speaking!?

Last night's shopping trip sent me over the edge. Nothing fit right. Like seriously... I just wasn't happy with anything I tried on. Either too big or too small. I'm beginning to think that solid size 6 I'm wanting to become is nothing but a pipe dream. I'm the thinnest that I've been recently and shopping is still a goddamn drag. My size range has actually increased. I'm anywhere from a medium to an extra large and from a 10 to a 14!

The icing on the cake is the la di da attitude of merchants. Really?! Your doing that well financially that you can tick off a customer?! I'm not having it anymore. I refuse to pay $100+ for a pair of boots that have a scratch on the toe, and scuffed heals and to think your gonna get mad because I made you walk back to see if you had another pair?! Laziness people.... poor fricken laziness and my hard-earned cash isn't putting up with that.

The longer I sit at the job that I hate the stingier I get with my money. I think twice about paying full price for a pair of $80 jeans and no matter how much I liked that Michael Kors purse, I wasn't willing to splurge on it. Actually having a job I hate has me questioning a lot of things I buy recently. I'm not as quick to spend money on frivolous things, I'm thinking that maybe taking a paycut for not hating every single minute of every single workday could be worth going without the latest designer bag.

I'm in a funk.

This weekend is the Iceman, it means 2 whole days without exercise, and as much as I am already stressing about the scale, part of me thinks that I may just need some rest.

The last thing I want to do is get burnt out before the Holidays. The goal is to make it into the 50's before Christmas. I'm so close. I know I can do this. I just need to focus on what's important and let the rest of the crap not bother me.

Here here to a fun weekend that does not include excessive food and alcohol!

Rebecca's Luchbox - Trader Joe Potato Latkes (Pancakes)

whew... figured it's been a while since I've done a product review and I dunno what it is but I had a serious craving for some potato pancakes this past weekend...well, that and I needed to get rid of some applesauce I had sitting around in my fridge, ssssooooo what's a girl to do!?

make them herself?! maybe, but I just don't have that kind of time, so I spied me some at Trader Joe's.

and the nutritional information, muy importante! (hint: 2 WW Points per serving!)

now lemme apologize for the next photo, however, it wasn't until Monday night that I decided this could be this weeks lunchbox. but i hadn't had them yet either, and I didn't want to review them untasted because then it wouldn't be a review, right?!

so...Monday night, I waited too long to prepare dinner so by the time I actually made these, I was starving that I inhaled them before I could take a beautiful picture. I did however enjoy them and took the rest for lunch yesterday.... so courtesy of my iphone.... i present you.... the potato pancakes!

that is just condensation, not oil or grease!

with a side of apple sauce (1/2c)!

Verdict: Delish! They were more delish Monday night when I got them right out of the oven. Method 1 of preparing them. Heated up in the microwave, they weren't bad but a tad rubbery. Next time I would pan fry them, but alas, none of my pans were clean. I know, I know, shame on me!

Now, the only con I see is that.... they are small. Two aren't that filling so I would need 3 but the package is for 8, and either I would have to buy a second package to feed my fam of 3 or if it's only Nate and I, we have 2 left over which one again leads to the fact that 2 isn't enough!?

But these are keepers, and will be making a return soon!

Any new finds I need to know about? Anything that can help with speedy dinners?!

These past few weekends have been so packed, I haven't even been able to precook for the week. I've been relying on Campbell's soups to get me through lunches. hello sodium city!

Weigh-In #17

Seriously. NOVEMBER!?

I can't believe it's only 24 days till Thanksgiving...holy cow.

How'd I do this Halloween weekend?

I maintained.

Am I bummed? For sure.
Looking at my tracker, I know, if I would have had a loss it would have been small. I consumed every last point that I had available to me.

This weekend was pure craziness, that involved eating out once a day since Friday.

I know that one weigh-in doesn't affect the rest of the ones to come, and that if I made it through this weekend successfully, there is no reason for me to not make it through Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Besides Saturday nights planned indulgence, I watched every single thing that went into my mouth. Friday's nor Sunday's meal out was considered a treat. I can't imagine what the scale would have said if I would have eaten off plan. Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed what I ate but I didn't over do it, and passed on the bread, alcohol and dessert! I'm not gonna lie... it was tough. It really reiterated the fact that this is for life. I have to pick the times and places that are important to me to really indulge. I was looking forward to Saturday so I had to treat the rest of the time as a regular meal. Sure, my points were higher but I stuck to my guns.

and it's not all about the number, right?

so, lemme name off some NSV's:
- i can do 50 bicycle crunches
- i can jump rope for a min. and a half continuously
- i can do 3 sets of 8 real push-ups
- i'm wearing a pair of BCBG dress pants that I havent worn in forever!!! They fit, comfortable and may be already getting loose in the legs.
- i wore a mini yesterday and got a compliment from my MIL.

3 more weigh-ins till Thanksgiving and I'm bound and determined to make them my biatch!

whose with me!?