Week 8 Weigh-In

It's been a crazy week for sure.

Ya'll all saw how I short-circuited on Monday, but I dug deep within myself (being brutally honest about a few things in my life) and switched the flip back on. I've been running strong ever since.

It's been 8 Weeks since back in the game, 8 weeks! I'm in awe at how great I've been doing, that it's becoming natural. That making healthier choices is becoming easier.

I've been on a lot of diets, every one from the LA Diet to South Beach, hell I even did Atkins for a few days and now I've landed at WW for my 2nd time. I've learned a lot from each diet. Things I like, dislike, how certain foods affect my body, my mood and my weight. I wouldn't be where I am now had I not tried all of the aforementioned.

I also know that I can and do get burnt out by exercise. I find it difficult working out 5 days a week and although I feel it necessary; I am just now beginning to come up with a system that doesn't kill my body as well as my mind in the process of that.

I knew the Friday before last that I was close to hitting that wall which is why I went to Strike, which is also why I went to Hip Hop on Saturday. This past week besides my 3 resistance training routines, I tried to stay away from the cardio machines. I swam, I spinned and I attended Hip Hop again. I feel refreshed and rejuvenated with my program.

But, there really was a bigger underlying issue that Nidena hit on in my Binge Eating post, it's that I was starving my body. I knew this before she even posted her comment, I'd been in a foggy stupor for most of previous week. yes, i was eating my weekly bonus points as well as my activity points but I wasn't using them on quality nourishing food. I wasn't using them on days that I exercised rigorously, I was using them to go out, drink, and have dessert. No wonder my body didn't want to let go of any weight. It couldn't even repair itself when I needed it to!

On days that I worked out this past week, I tried eating half of my AP's earned that very evening. Instead of just a glass of chocolate milk as a recovery snack, I had a bowl of cereal and you know what, I'm still here to tell about it. It's hard breaking old habits and even harder starting and maintaining new ones.

so, the part everyone is excited about... how much did i lose week.....

2.5 lbs !!!!

that brings my weight-loss to a total of 14 pounds... wooohoooo!!!

I'm a tad euphoric and can't think straight so I'll chat with ya'll tomorrow!!

Mutti, ich hab dich lieb - Teil 2

so, remember a few weeks ago when I gave my mom a huge shout-out?!

well, today I'm going to again because she has hit 11 lbs lost!! how fabulous is that?!

the thing is, I don't really tell her how I proud I am of her, mostly because I compare her way to my way and well... lets just say she is still stumbling around the dark.

don't get me wrong, she's making better choices but for someone who has struggled with her weight for most of her life, I expect her to be a tad more in-tune with healthy/not healthy.

you see, I've done a lot of diets and i can now see that I've learned something from each one that I am now applying to my overall healthier living but I never really saw my mom diet.

sure, she tried losing weight but she never corrected her ways. the last time she lost a lot of weight, probably 40+ lbs, she did so by using prescription diet pills, mucho exercise and little nutrition. sure she looked fab (although I never told her so) but alas here she is again, trying to lose it the right way.

so, it's been, oh I don't know, 6 to 7 weeks, and she is slowly, and i mean s - l - o - w - l - y, changing her habits for the better. Amongst other things these are probably the biggies: she's eating breakfast, packing her lunches for work, trying to eat reasonably better when going out to eat and realizing that not every dinner out is a cause for celebration therefore we do not need apps, entree, dessert and multiple cocktails.

so, liebe Mutti, I know you can do this, you are proving to me and to yourself just how serious you are about getting your health in order and I couldn't be prouder of you!! keep up the fabulous work you have been doing!

kuesschen,

Rebecca's Lunchbox - Stuffed Chipolte Peppers

I know I know, I should have had the review for the Trader Joe's Chipolte Fries however Nate wasn't able to send me the pics. He's in Lonodn, Ontario for all my Canadian homies...and stuck in a plant for at least 12 hours! so instead of pestering him, I'm just using next weeks.

I love to cook, when the moons align and it's a clear night, which is hardly, so I usually only try new recipes Saturday nights. It's a shame, I know, right? Oh well...so I have had this cookbook for years! It's probably one of my favorite because everything I make I lurvvvvvvv, for reals. Other staple recipes, Hot & Sour soup, Pad Thai, a scallop dish... ohhh...must stop... getting hungry!



I dont think I can actually share the recipe since it's copyrighted so I'm doing a picture tutorial.

Things you need:


First you chop your onions and saute them with garlic.


While they are sauting, the peppers get roasted.


Add sausage to onions and garlic. Sidenote: the recipe actually called for turkey sausage, however I didn't have any and since I was trying to make things with staples on hand I substituted chicken sausage.


While the sausage is browning, the rice got microwaved, once the sausage is browned and the rice is done microwaving (approx. 3 minutes), it gets added to the pot.


After the peppers have cooled off, and you've taken the stem off and deseeded them, you fill them, pour tomato sauce over them (I used a jar of bruschetta, I use it when any recipe calls for tomato sauce!) add cheese and bake. I served this with a side of mexican rice.



and plated... yum yum...



The chicken sausage adds a different texture which I'm not sure about but overall I loved this recipe. I also like that it refrigerated well. Come September I'll have to start making more meals ahead and sometimes certain dishes just do not refrigerate well.

so... any thoughts? yay or nay? did you like this? not so much?! me likey some feedback.

Rebecca's Luchbox - On Hold! and some Inspiration

First off, thank you so much for the kind comments! I truly appreciated them since I felt pretty low Monday night.

after a fun date night with my mutta, I came home and wanted to start editing my pics of Trader Joe's chipolte fries, my lunchbox feature this week, and I couldn't find them!

not on my laptop, not on my desktop... lo and behold they were on Nate's laptop... i know i know.. what do 2 peeps need 3 comps for?!

anyways... I start perusing our pic folder... and yeah... I remember, a while back, when Nate was organizing them that we started going through our pictures and I was sad. Saddened by the pictures of 2006 where I was my lowest I had been. Not my starting dating weight but the lowest since my highest. clear as mud?!

so yeah, I remember getting all teared up. wondering how, why could I let myself get back to where I was?! I was upset, and angry and frustrated with myself. and vowed I wouldn't look at them again...

well, last night I did and this is what I saw...

This was Nate and I, Christmas Eve. Dontcha love my houseshoes!?

This was me New Year's Eve... got I love that jean skirt!

I look genuinely happy in those photos and it was such a huge accomplishment for me at that time.

I can look at those now, without getting teary eyed, frustrated or angry. Why? Because I can taste what it feels like to weigh that again. It's just around the corner and I can.not.wait!

I'm not that hopeless person I was just weeks ago. I have found my groove, no matter what bump I find along the way. This is it, the final chapter.

Binge Eating

I've been debating all morning whether or not to post this because well, I'm not really look for advice or a you can do this or even pity. I just need out there.

The weight blogging community is a funny one, at least this is how I see it. Sure, we want to give encouragement to those who are struggling but when someone posts a continuous struggle, it gets old fast. real fast. and yes, I am speaking about out myself as well! Then you find someone whose at goal weight, so you scour their history to find the magic pill. What did they do that is different, that helped them lose the weight for good. Only to find out that they too maybe haven't it all figured out. Then there are those that do keep it off. For good. and your in awe.

My point is, sometimes I feel like I post over happily, overly optimistic when some days I just put one foot in front of the other. I love receiving comments and reading them and getting some encouragement so much that I have made a genuine effort in commenting more because if I feel good when I receive comments, I'm sure others do too. Yet, I realize I typically only get/give comments when things are good or pictures involved not when people post about an event or an issue going on in their life.

I digress, the point is I had an interesting evening last night.

Disclaimer: this event was not 100% scale related, I'm overly stressed at work. Last Thursday our coordinator sent an email to all of us ladies asking us to send her an updated copy of what our tasks and special skills are so that she could update the ISO Manual. Bullshit... we all know what this is about. It's about taking our already skeleton crew to barebones. Yupperoooo... things are bad for my company.

So...what triggered this, besides the scale and work, I'm a former closet binger. and Nate's out of town this week. Shoot, he was gone for most of the weekend and I did fine but yesterday everything combined, it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I came home, tired. Tired of everything, and as a rest day I parked my ass in front of the tv. Major progress from the past where I remember stopping at the gas station or CVS buying chips and candy and then on the way home detouring to Taco Bell to get a 7 Layer Burrito and Chicken Quesadilla. A) That isn't in my budget and B) I'm too fricken determined to start backsliding. Remember, This is it ladies.

The definition of a binge, per the Merriam Webster Dictionary states that it is an act of excessive or compulsive consumption (as of food).

I guess I had my first 'regulated' binge. I know your asking what?! Well, I had an excessive consumption of food last night but I tracked it all. I measured it out. I waited and decided if I wanted more, which I did and then ate some more. I'm sure Nidena would say I was hungry. I wasn't. Not really.

Lets see... I came home at 5 and decided I wanted some Pop Chips! Had a sampling bag and then decided I wanted some more as well as Veggie Sticks (7 Points from chips alone!). At 6 decided it was time for dinner and I was in the mood for a grilled a cheese. Arnold Sandwich thin, coated with REAL garlic butter and 2 oz. of Hoffmans Pepperjack ( 4 Points only!) but while that was cooking I had 2 pieces of German truffles (2 Points), but truly... The grilled cheese was out of this world and now looking back... I should have just had two of those and I would have been content. Around 8 I decide its time for ice cream, 2 servings of Cappucion Chip (5 Points!) and after that since I was already on an eating binge I polished off 8 Toffifay (8 Points!)

Within a span of 4.5 hours I consumed 26 Points! and you know what... I enjoyed it! I didn't feel regret, anger or disappointment in myself. Sure, I let some emotions get the best of me, but I didn't eat with reckless abandon and I was able to track it. Sure, the majority of my weekly Points are gone but oh well... I can earn AP's if I end up needing more!

Honestly I could have done without the PopChips! Holy mackerel...did I just say that I could have done without the chips!? I did I did... but I enjoyed every single finger licken morsel of the other food.

I went to bed after the Toffifay because at that point I knew I was eating to just eat and then I began to think about why I did what I did.

1. Losing weight is hard. We all know this or else we'd all be at our goal weight.
   
2. It's frustrating when your doing what your supposed to be doing and the scale isn't budging. at. all.
3. and let me preface this by saying, I don't feel like I am denying myself anything. I know certain foods are off limits because I just can't eat one. For example the Toffifay, I could eat an entire sheet of those and still want more! this past week, I ate out a lot. more than I have all summer and 3/4's of the time I choose an entree because it sounds reasonable goood and it's fairly decent in points. not because I genuinely want to eat it! Not because it's the most delicious thing on the menu. Yes, sometimes the former fat girl comes out and I want is 1000+ shake from Chilis. Or that PeiWei dish that has more Points than I am allowed in a day!
   

That's it people, sometimes losing weight is just taxing. Today it was taxing. I think a culmination of all my vacations, of constantly trying to make better/healthier choices just caught up with me and eating without worrying about Points helped.

How do I feel today? Ok. I had my Green Monster for breakfast, my lunch and snacks are packed as is my gym bag and I am moving forward in the direction I am headed.

I'm owning up to what happened last night but I also recognize the change in me, who is not focusing on yesterdays glitch but on the overall goal. I don't fear that today the binge will continue or that I won't go to the gym. No... I dealt with yesterday, yesterday. Today I am focusing on the best me I can be.

We can all do this, one step at a time.

Week 7 weigh-in

I'll be honest, sometimes I love coming here and other times I don't. Mostly because of the pressure I put on myself to perform consistently each week.

Weight is such a tricky thing. You really have no control as to how your body is going to respond when you eat less and exercise more. Some weeks you have great weight loss and others is just meh.

Last week was frustrating for me. My weight just would.not.budge.

I ate my points, I've been exercising. I even did Strike! (a boot camp style kickboxing class) to switch things up. It was insane. I burnt over 800 cals when I typically only burn 600ish in a workout. Saturday I went to the HipHop class because I wanted to keep it fun and exciting and just couldnt imagine myself lifting or doing any other form of cardio and yet the scale still did not budge.

I've worked hard at breaking my scale obsession. Yes I still weigh myself, a lot, but... I no longer let it affect my mood. I'm not angry or pissy because of it. Sure when it's up I'm bummin' but I no longer lash out at the person closest to me. I just continue on with my day perhaps a tad more conscious of what I am putting in my mouth.

so, with heavy heart I report a....

zero

loss/gain this.

No drowning of my sorrows in peanut M&M's or pints of ice cream. I had my green monster, and my meals planned for today and nothing is going to mess with my plan.

I just need to make sure I don't start doubting myself. It's when I start second guessing how/why/what I am doing is when I start to backslide.

And, I need to stop comparing my weightloss to others. Some people can just lose x amount every week. I am not those people. I will not lose 10 lbs a month, I have never been able to lose 10 lbs a month and I have to be ok with that or else I am only setting myself up for self sabotage.

I dont look back on last week and think, man, I would change this and that and this. no, I enjoyed every single thing I ate and drank last week. It just proves to me that the choices I make are ones that I am 100% happy and content with. I'm not beating myself up because I ate out one too many times, because how often does that happen!? and what about the fact that I maintained my weight even though I did go out to eat one too many times!?

Sure, I would have loved loved loved to at least lose 0.5 lb but you know what, I didnt and today I am continuing on the path that I have already set up for myself and I can only hope that last weeks and this weeks work is going to pay off next week.

Happy Monday ladies!

Rebecca's Lunchbox - Healthy is NOT expensive

so, I'm thinking of trying something a lil new this week. I'd like to focus a little more on food, products, reviews etc. at least once a week and I'm thinking Rebecca's Lunchbox Wednesday's

The biggest complaint that I hear from people is that produce is sssssooooo expensive it's easier to buy $1.29 soda and $0.99 chips. Alright, so I agree to a degree, buying produce at your typical grocery store chains, speciality stores and sometimes organic is expensive, but is that reason to not eat as much produce as possible!? I don't think so, things that have helped me reduce my budget is to buy produce from Farmers Markets or specialty produce stores like Joe Randazzo's!

so, lemme show you what I typically buy for 1 week...

Starting from the left to the right

9 ears of corn (this was for a bbq we were hosting that week)

6 poblano peppers

4 lemons

3 lb bag carrots (this usually lasts me two weeks)

a lb of tomatoes

6 limes

4 oranges

5 cucumbers

5 lb bag baby red potatoes (also for the bbq)

2 bananas

4 green peppers

5 nectarines

4 spanish onions

bean sprouts

3 packages of shortcake

3 bundles of green onions

Anyone want to guess how much I spent? Yup... less than $20!

There are a few downfalls to a place like Joe Randazzo's:

1. They don't always have stock. Like, that week, they had no red peppers. Or if you get there too late they run out of stock as well.
   
2. A lot of the produce they carry is in-season which is also part of the reason why their prices are so low
   
3. Also, there are certain things I just cant buy there, like cantaloupe. I have yet to ever get a decent cantaloupe.

Another money saving tip... I could buy a 1lb baby carrot bag that costs me $0.99 but for a 3 lb normal carrot bag I paid $1.19! I know I know, sometimes you just dont have the time or the desire to deal with full length carrots but for me it's worth saving the extra $1.78 to buy the regular carrots.

It took me a few years to find this place but now, I hate buying my produce at any other store! I do however buy my lettuce at Costco, I get 6 heads of romaine for $3.50!

A normal week where I am not buying for a bbq, I spend around $13.00 at Joe's with Costco's, my veggies and fruit cost less than $20. Nate and I can't even enjoy an evening out for that amount!

Anyone want to chime in?! Where you buy, tips, excuses?! Would love to hear from you!

" (she's) too short and too fat " - Markus

First off, a big THANK YOU for all the lovely comments on Thursday. I think for everyone trying to lose weight, receiving some affirmation from others is probably the next best thing to a lower number and new clothes!

Secondly, todays post is going to be a tad random. I have all these partial posts that I just can't turn into real posts because they are all tidbits of weightloss.

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Is it me or does everyone get exhausted after an extremely strenous weekend of watching what you eat?

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I tend to lose the majority of my weight Tuesday and Wednesday and hold steady through the weekend.

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I lose better when I only work out 4x's a week instead of 5.

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I had this conversation on Thursday:

a boss: would you like a candy bar?
moi: no, thank you.
a boss: nothing you like or are you trying to lose weight?
moi (quite shocked but then not. did i ever tell you what he said about my mom?): uhm, yes i am actually watching what i am eating.
a boss: yes, i can tell. it fits you well... you have a pretty face afterall...

the sentence I've heard all my life.... I shouldn't have to at work now, should I?

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And the same boss from above told me what Markus said about my mother

"(she's) too short and too fat"

does this dude not have a filter or think before he speaks!?

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I'll be back tomorrow with something a lil different ;)

Half way there!

Another week down. I can't believe I've already been doing WW for 6 weeks, that also means it's been 6 weeks since I've been back from Germany! Holy cow.. time flies and then Sonya mentioned it's only 9 weeks till October!? Are you kidding me!?

Where to start, where to start!? I'll focus on the weekend since that was spent at a cottage with friends.

For once, I didn't dread the trip because of food, no sirree, I had an action plan!

1. Instead of the bagels and cream cheese we were requested to bring for breakfast, I brought myself some Oikos and cereal. I needed something to fill myself up and carbs usually dont and cost a lot of Points! Don't get me wrong, I eat them occasionally but I knew the dangers of this weekend and didn't want to them as a indulgence.
2. Burgers were for lunch on Saturday so I brought a Boca patty and a sandwich thin. Yumm-o and only 2 Points!
3. I brought Baked Tostitos and allowed myself 1 portion of those and guacamole sometime throughout Saturday.
4. I planned on having smores and alcohol oh and somewhere around 6 Liters of water from Friday night through Sunday at noon.
   

We all know, weekends away with friends usually revolve around alcohol and food, so how'd I do?

I did well, I had 2 instances, Friday nights Hobo Pie (anyone ever had those?) and Saturday nights additional 3 smores but besides that I didn't eat any too differently than I would at home.

I think the biggest indicator of this weekend is that I felt great! Besides Saturdays night additional 3 smores, I don't regret any choices I made.

Yeah, I wish I would/could have drunk more but I know myself and it's a catalyst of bad eating for me and I was determined to show the same number I saw on Friday morning.

I had no other option but to lose

2 lbs!

this week and I did.

Sure, I could have taken this weekend off but before you know it, I'd have the 11.5 lbs back on and since this is a lifestyle change, there is no "on" or "off". Your always on!

and honestly, I need this weight off, I'm happier when I am lighter. I'm at a weight right now where I stalled out earlier this year, I need to get past it. I need to get to 169!

I can and will do this!!

Fuzzy Navel, err Brain

dunno what my problem is... I was actually having a good day yesterday and then sometime on the way home, on the way to the gym, I hit the wall.

I could barely get my heart rate up past 136 b/min and even though I had planned on only doing 30 mins, I had no reason to not do my 45 mins I had actually planned, so I did.

Came home, and attacked 1.5 servings of Trader Joe Veggie Sticks. I was pondering using the word binge but I measured them out, so even though I did inhale them, that wouldn't be a binge right? I stopped after my 3rd, half serving (now making it that 1.5 servings I mentioned earlier) and showered while Nate made dinner for fear that I just may eat the entire bag.

Baby steps right... I was feeling destructive. I even told Nate I was feeling destructive and the end result was that all I ate was an additioanl 4.5 Points of Trader Joe Veggie Sticks, they remind me of Munchos...this was nothing compared to years past.

I spent the rest of the night miserable on the couch until I feel asleep around 9. Only to yell at Nate around10ish when we were heading to bed and I heard he had ice cream. I had planned on eating ice cream and didn't get any. I knew it was for the better because I didn't really want it, i was going to eat it because i felt destructive not because I wanted it! god forbid...

I woke up today still a tad grouchy and because the scale was nice to me decided to try on this dress:

I haven't worn this dress in 2 years, maybe. and today i put it on and felt good! seriously. it didn't help my mood right away but as the day is going on I'm definately feeling better and better.

My shoes, and I have no clue why 1 leg looks orange and the other is pale(r). trust me, both are pale!

Anyways... the point is I'm beginning to realize that I know when a binge is possibly coming on and how to prevent it. In the past, I would have totally succumb, probably even made a pit stop at the BP station near my house to pick up a couple of King Size candy bars and bags of $0.99 chips. Then not only regret it that very evening but also the next day and beat myself up over it so that the cycle can continue over and over again.

It's learning how to grow and how to deal with these instances, which have become rarer and rarer so that on days like today

nothing tastes as good as thin(ner) feels

Date Night

First off, let me say how surprised I am to not hear crickets chirping?! That or be attacked by a bag of flaming poo.

I also feel the need to clarify something, I have no problem or issue with people talking about their struggle with losing but when you complain week after week about not losing or how the weekends are tough, be honest with yourself! are you really doing all that you say you are?

and finally, I don't know all the answers or would even consider myself a successful weight loser, I was just stating something that annoys me and that could very well be because I SEE myself in those people. Having lied to myself for so long about how much I wasn't really trying.

But, that was yesterday...

as was Date Night...... with my mom!!!

I finally made time to go out for dinner and see Julia and Julie.

The movie was truly adorable. Seriously, it was just a feel good, uplifting movie. I may even see it again with Nate because there were some scenes that he and I have totally lived thanks to my blog! It's a must see for sure!

but something a little more eh, was dinner at Andiamo in Dearborn.

Now, this isn't my favorite restaurant to begin with but my mom had a gift card and I had found a salad that would be WW friendly so I happily obliged. No hair pulling here.

We get there and ask to be seated on the patio and a) it was empty! b) they had the most uncomfortable bistro chairs i've ever sat on. The patio was more a place to have a few drinks and not dinner! So we ask to be sat back inside. No problem.

We were a tad disappointed because a) the weater was nice enough we could have sat outside if they had had an inviting patio and b) this is an upscale italian restaurant WHY do they NOT have a nice patio!? but not enough for our mood to be ruined.

So, I refuse to open the menu because I already have my salad chosen and all i need is to be led astray, but Becky, our waitress, tells us about this new menu they have launched called Andiamo Lean. They claim that:

for less than 600 calories, Andiamo Lean selections contain minimal saturated and no trans fat, no gluten, no soy or nut products and lower sodium. - Andiamo website

Each 'menu' consists of appetizer, entree and dessert. There are 3 appetizer options, 6 dinner options and a dessert and for the price of what a standard entree would cost, you get quite the selection.

My mom sipping a Cosmo starts out with the Jicama and Apple Slaw with Yogurt Dressing - delish although a tad cinnamony. As her main entree, she chose the grilled salmon filet on a bed of sweet basil corn broth with oyster mushrooms - it wasn't really my taste however she thoroughly enjoyed it and for dessert was served fruit infused panna cotta with fresh berries. Now this was fabulous and it's a shame that its not on the standard dessert menu because it was not only the perfect portion but obviously aligned with my caloric needs.

Now my salad on the other was bland bland bland for the $16.95 we paid! It was blackened tips on a bed of mixed greens tossed with balsamic viniagrette (which I requested on the side) topped with roasted red peppers, chevre cheese and frisse onions.

Before I go on and explain my dinner, I want to mention a dinner I had a few weeks back at Bravo Cucina Italiana. Once again, way too much pasta so I ordered a salad, the Wood-Grilled Tenderloin Salad for $12.95. The description from their website:

Mixed tricolore field greens, grape tomatoes, red onions, Gorgonzola cheese and creamy horseradish dressing topped with sliced grilled steak.

This salad was to d.i.e. for. It was a decent size, not huge but not small either, just right. The lettuce was impeccably fresh, the steak melted in your mouth and the dressing was such a nice compliment to round out the salad.

Lemme preface, that perhaps this is where I did wrong but when I read the description to the salad at Andiamo's I had flashbacks to that salad, and yes, it was nothing like that Bravo salad.

Yes, the salad was HUGE, and the beef tips were just as good, if not better than Bravo's but there is where the similarity ends. The frisse onions were not only wilty, I'm assuming they make them in the afternoon and let them sit, but cold. The chevre cheese was maybe the size of a golf ball, and deep friend. It looked more like hush puppy that I even had to ask what it was and the lettuce...was poor! I've had better quality from McDonald's, I'd say an 1/8th of it was wilty. The dressing seemed to have been something they picked up at the local Meijer, not only was it generic but quite bland. To say I was disappointed was a huge understatement but I didn't allow that to ruin my night.

Then as our dinner plates were being cleared, Becky offers us not only coffee but also dessert, so we kindly ask to see the coffee menu which they do not have so she rattles off the various offerings including french pressed coffee. We both decide we would like a cup, to which she asks, "You each want one?" and that should have been the clue but c'est la vie..."Yes, we both want one." "Any dessert with that?" "Just the dessert that comes with my moms menu." "Oh, right...I forgot." Not quite sure how since you only had 2 tables!!! But ok...

Not even 5 minutes later she arrives with 2 pots of French Press coffee, at this point, I'm slowly beginning to lose my patience and am annoyed. I can't even remember what Becky but remember my mom saying that she should have told us that we would each receive our own pot and not just cup of french press coffee. Becky trying to downplay the fact that we are both obviously annoyed at what just has transpired comments that we would have had to order 2 anyways because Andiamo wouldn't allow us to share a pot which is ridiculous because seriously who can drink a pot of coffee at night by themselves!? We could have easily shared one!!

STILL.... my mom and I trying to be troopers about all of this especially since the coffee is heavenly and the panna cotta delicious! Becky drops off the bill so I ask about the Buy 1 Get 1 Free special they are currently running. She tells me that it's running through the end of August and that I need the coupon for it. THE COUPON!!! Ok, I can't fight her on that one nor do I know the policy of the restaurant but if I had been the waitress I would have tried to at least fight for the guest and gotten my manager to waive the coupon especially since they asked about it!

and last but not least, the overpriced Absolut cosmo $9.50... nuff said. I have no clue where that going rate is, perhaps B'ham, Novi, Troy but not Dearborn.

It was the first time back in a looooooong time back and probably the last as well which is a shame since their Andiamo Lean menu is a fabulous idea! There was something decadent and exciting about it and yet the whole experience was somewhat shot by my dinner and our overall experience.

Just a small rant I know but it was very disappointing from a well-known upscale restaurant in Dearborn that already struggles keeping up-scale dining.

Consider yourself warned..... ;)

Critical

Remember back in January when I got all mad at my Aunt and Uncle for saying all we do is talk about dieting? Well, I'm becoming the same way.

Except that I have no reason to be this way. I have struggled 3+ years with my weight. I've made countless excuses to myself and to you about "why this weight isn't coming off". Could it be that I took every weekend off and that yes, when you gain everything back you lost during the week on the weekend your basically chasing your tail?

I've been on WW 5 weeks now and I have yet to mention it outside of my blog. and somewhere along the way, I've become very intolerant of people who continuously talk about needing to lose weight, about giving up junk food, about needing to workout only to find them inhaling a pizza or maybe a Snickers bar.

I'm tired of scrolling through the WW message boards and every other topic being:

• Need your support/Need motivation
  
• The weekends are so rough - Gain!

I've been there. Uhm, yeah past 3 years.... but honestly when you want it, you find a way to make it work and surprisingly I'm much less stringent than back in the day when i was 'dieting'.

I'm not

• blaming my mother for my weight gain because she likes to eat out
• blaming my commute/stress level on my inability to workout
• flying off the handle at whomever because something doesnt go my way
  

for someone, who is finally figuring this out, it's like I'm in a whole different planet and I want to shake these people to open their eyes because the majority make even more excuses when you try to call them on their ways and it's not that I'm facetious but are you doing the other person any justice when we coddle them and tell them its ok they ate a lb of M&Ms because they are overwhelmed?! That they deserve a cookie because they stayed OP all weekend!?

it's taken me years, yyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssssss, and a lot of trial and error to get here and no one was able to help me to get to this point and I know me giving you all the advice in the world won't help you get to your enough point.

I just need to work on becoming less critical of others struggle and remember that I too had my phase. Ha! I just need to read through my archive.

Does anyone else feel that way? Get that way!? I want to hear from you, you successful (weight)losers!

Week 5 weigh-in, 7 to go

This week was rough. Not because I was tempted by food but because my I was playing mind games with myself.

I knew the gain was superficial either induced by pms or by sodium and yet a little voice in the back of my head was taunting me, not to eat, but to remind me that once again i was failing. that i would continue to fail.

then...i get tired. oh so tired the week before...i mean sleeping 12 hours sleepy but I pushed through and eeked out 4 days at the gym. Thursday was exceptionally rough, mainly because I wasnt feeling it but I was determined to at least give it a 30 minute shot because thats all I need to get back in the groove. It wasn't meant to be so I called it a day after 30 mins.

I've often heard nutrition is 80% of fat loss. No sh!t? I would have sworn that in all my past weight loss endeavors my loss was because of me working out. I'm beginning to think I was wrong.

I've always been so focused on what I can't have that I never saw what I could have. I'm finally beginning to see I can have it all. I know, I know... your probably thinking I lost my mind and maybe I have, but I feel free. Free from the constant obsession with food. Jesus Christ, I mean, that's all that it's supposed to be, fuel. Sure, I can enjoy it and sure I'll have favorites but that doesn't mean I need to gorge myself.

I'm just shocked. I had a buffet of chocolates in front of me last night and I had 1! 1! and this coming from someone who would have sworn up and down that I'd rather have none than just 1.

and with that, my loss for this week is:

3 lbs!

so, I ask you guys to think of what you can have, and not focus on what you can't.

3500 calories = a lb

so, remember how I burned 4800 calories?! and while on vacation!!!

i'm still surprised i worked out, while on vacation, nonetheless! shooooot...

the thing is, i always plan on working out while on vacation, i rarely do it though.... but i'm in it to win it and so i better get to it! errrr...whats up with all the rhyming?!

the thing is, i've always been full of excuses, my two main ones are:

1. if i can't work out for an hour, i won't work out at all! Oh yes, I'm still in the habit of trying to break this logic!
2. if i can't make it to the gym, why bother?! Hello there is an elliptical that is taking up precious space in nates office! i'm getting better at this one!
   

so the fact that I worked out while on vacation where I had no gym was a huge success for me!

Nate and I did plan 2 major bike rides before we even left to go to Montague but the other days I had just planned on walking/climbing stairs and some misc. other stuff. Although I was lucky enough to go to Muskegon's Y on day with Nate's Uncle and his girls.

The walking exercise was tough. Tough because I would have never done this at home, but it ended up being a great 45 minute workout. A few climbs, and then while on a flat even surface, I ended up doing walking lunges that hurt so bad I had trouble getting in out of the car the next day!

The whole point is when you put your mind to doing something, you can find a way. Sure, it may not be ideal, but the more often you get out of your comfort zone and try something new, the easier it gets. I'm not healed nor do I know that I will be this successful the next time around but I do know that I have made a step in the right direction, and that this one step just may prompt a second step. Why bother going backward when you've already gone forward?

Mutti - Ich hab dich lieb!

did anyone watch Ruby on Sunday? I don't know what it is about that show but

• i always feel more motivated after that show than I think I ever do after TBL, although I can't wait for that to return!!! seriously, if that woman can do it naturally, we all can!
• i always cry. I really cried this time when her room renovation was taking place and she didn't want to get rid of her fat clothes, just in case. who can't relate with that!?

but this post isn't about Ruby it's about my mom, whom I rarely blog about unless I'm complaining about something, but I've been having some Ruby moments with her lately.

you see, my moms had a rough year. back in January she got a physical, her doctor mentioned something about an inflamed heart, well, that is at least what she told me, so I expected her drop dead a.n.y.m.i.n.u.t.e. sounds cruel I know but I swear, you should have seen that text, you would have thought she was near death.

it reminded me of 9/11 when my mom texted me that America was under attack and I should head home ASAP so hear I am driving down Mich Ave. expecting jets to be flying overhead me, shooting down missiles, just like in those Pearl Harbor movies! I should know by now, my mom can exaggerate, but nonetheless I was concerned. and so was she, sorta, I'd say she was more scared than worried, and that fear prevented her from seeing a cardiologist.

i digress...5 weeks ago, Nate and I get back from Germany, on Saturday (this is important just so you get an idea of the time frame), and she's limping, badly. she wasn't able to straighten out her left leg. she had some off days in there and on Tuesday goes back to work, well, she ends up going home early because she cant stand on it. well, that Thursday she went to the doctor, i think this is the fastest she's ever scheduled a doctors appointment, gets some tests. That following week she finds out, she has severe osteo-arthritis. Well, that was devastating to her, and it is devastating because

1. its hereditary, so you can't prevent it!
   
2. she'll have to live with this for the rest of her life and from how its hit her this time, hot damn, its pretty debilitating.
   

so needless to say she's been in a funk. who wouldn't be?! she cant even walk straight! so, i'm sure everyone is wondering if its weight related, and yes/kinda sorta, but the severity to which it is, is not based solely on her weight. sure, she's big (2teens), but not that big that it should impact her knee.

some suggestions included, lose weight, physical therapy, and start taking vitamins. and she did, all of the above. she is losing a lb/week, attends PT 3xs a week, and this past Monday after much hiiing and hawing, she finally stepped into the doors of Curves.

Now, I've left out some key details:

1. she's anxiety ridden.. if she has to do anything new/foreign to her, she works herself up to a tizzy usually ending in a cry fit which leads into 2.
2. if she could afford it, she'd hire an assistant so that a) she would have someone to lean on when 1. happens b) drive her to new places or even old places because 1. usually happens
   

sssoooooo....I'm even more proud of her that she is finally doing what she needs to be doing, which is taking care of herself!

Did you hear me!?

I'm so proud of you for doing what you have to do regardless of how scary and overwhelming this appears to be.

I know you can do this, you know you can do this and don't let anything hold you back. Stop thinking about it and just do it! and maybe starting a blog in the process wouldn't be a bad idea... ;)

Love,
your mauesschen

"you have to mash the beans to get the farts out" - my MIL

4 weeks since I've started WWers and wow...amazing what results you can see when you actually follow the plan and believe it or not, it doesn't really feel like a 'diet'.

sure, i mean, for the normal person who doesn't diet or watch their portions they do wonder what in the hell is she doing but i think for them, it would even be beneficial to really see what 1 portion is.

so...you wonder how I did while on vacation...did I take my scale and measuring cups along like I mentioned in this post?! I did. I brought along my scale and 1 tbsp measurement. Did I get them out a lot? Sorta.

I did use the 1 tbsp measurement every morning when using my creamer. If there is one thing I can not seem to get the serving size of is creamer! How much I love theeeeeeee....

The scale I only used once or twice, usually only for measuring out yogurt and granola. Speaking of yogurt, I finally got to try the Oikos, but before I go into how it tasted lemme ask you guys this....how do you peeps afford this!? I usually buy the Trader Joe brand at $2.99 for 16 oz, I paid $4.99 for 16 oz of Oikos! It was delicious though, better than the Fage, in my opinion, creamer than I remember Fage to be and creamier than the Trader Joe brand.

How did my family-in-law respond? Well, if they noticed they didn't comment. You see, one of Nate's cousins is a recovering bulimic, and she uses measuring cups and spoons for all of her meals so I guess they were used to it. Like I already said though, besides the tablespoon I only used our scale once or twice.

Now, food wise, how'd I do?! I think I did well. The easiest days for me were Monday and Tuesday, by Wednesday I ended up going over to the snack counter, and for Wednesday - Friday I'd say I made great choices 70% of the time and ok choices 30% of the time. I felt guilty there for a while but then I realized these indulgences wouldn't become a regular thing because I wouldn't let half this crap into my house!

I did notice that the more I ate processed crap, like chips and cookies, that cravings for Diet Coke
seemed to resurface. It was like I couldn't have one without wanting the other. Thank God I kicked that habit to the door.

Overall, I'm really very happy with how last week went. It just goes to show that the changes I have made so far, are ones that I can now carry with me whether I travel or go on vacation. Actually, I continued to crave the foods that I have now required my body to eat. It just amazes me!

Sure it takes a little more dedication and discipline but then again if it were easy, we'd all be at our goal weight?!

Week 4 weigh-in, 8 to go

so, I had todays post already planned but then I stepped on the scale this morning and showed a gain

1 lb.

and i took it hard. i'm sort of surprised. not really i guess. it's hard to explain so let me try.

1. i honestly thought that with the amount of effort that i am doing this. no gimmicks or whatever that i would get through my 12 weeks and not have one gain. crazy? or not?
2. then, i ate well last week. I'm torn to say I followed the plan 70%/30% considering i did no tracking.
   
3. i worked out like a mad man! last week Ive burnt the most amount i have the past 3 weeks! 4800 cals to be exact!

I'm ok now but I was seriously bummin' earlier. I just had this huge dread that this was the beginning of me making excuses, again.

yes, the gain could be some of the extra food i ate or maybe the extra sodium i consumed. or just maybe it has to do with being a girl.

i dont know. but i'm not going to let it hold me back or get me down.

my lunch is healthy, my gym bag is packed and this week is going to be great!