little debby

what a downer that last post was. had i posted last night, this post would have been a whole lot more cheery but right now, i'm frankly annoyed.

see below:



eating definately was 100% right. we didnt go out to eat but i also didnt cook last weekend so we relied a lot on ready meals. i didnt track pen to paper but i know i never went over 1800 cals! i told nate last night, this weekend we are doinng NOTHING. i'm gonna sit my ass down into that chair and make up a food plan for the next 4 weeks. if i have to, ill even input all the foods i typically eat into sparkpeople and i can always go back and delete items if i'm not eating them.

why am i letting the scale affect me when i had a great week workout wise. i've been sore the past two days thanks to a strength class and cycle class. i feel and look so much toner yet now I'm all down because of the scale. I'd say I'm also out but thankfully there wasnt a gain so it's not that bad.

it's another week, the last week of February.

fuck...i had such high goals to losing mad weight this month since there were 5 weeks in it and as of now, i'm in the frickin red!

a week

i cant believe more than a week has passed since ive last blogged. so, here ya go...



this past week was a stressful one. not really stressful stressful but i started in my new department and that always takes some getting used to. each department does their own shiyat differently so just acclimating to that. then people dont want to use the new girl but still the old girl and the new girl and the old girl are very different. i dont want to say she's a lap dog but she is very pleasing. don't get me wrong, i definately want to be able to help you, but dont come to me Friday morning needing some hotroll yesterday. i can bust my ass getting it for you but lets get one thing clear, i'm not gonna welcome you with open arms.

i took this past week light. i think i worked out 3 times. i was also indulgent food wise. not by choice but because of poor planning. due to the hecticness of last weekend, i didnt cook any of my meals, and i paid for it during the week. i think we ate out every night. i think subway, mcdonalds and some other places. i say indulgent only because i did what i do during the day.

honestly, i jsut dont have a lot to say. do you really want to hear the same regurgitated shiyat...i work, workout, eat right..blah blah blah....

i am however training for a 4 mile run March 16th (thanks sunshine!!!) so I'll keep you posted how that works out.

have a good one!

it's never enough

thats how i feel today. i'm exhausted, mentally and physically, i've been walking around in a fog wondering if i could have done more to elicit a bigger loss. i worked hard this week and i'm not even appreciating it, i'm already looking forward to the next week wondering what i can do to create a bigger loss. without further ado, here are my stats:



With certain things I'm a very patient person but when it comes to my weight, hello no.I want to get this weight off now! It's hard remembering that even though it seemed like the weight came back on overnight, in reality it took 6 months for me to gain it back. I've been exhausted all week, so I think I'm hitting it a little hard in the gym without enough rest days in between so the plan for this week is: workout saturday sunday, monday rest, workout tuesday wednesday, and thursday i'm taking off. not that i have plans yet, but hopefully something...;)i'll also be weighing in on Thursday, I stress about posting my weight here and I don't want to stress on Valentine's Day if Nate decides to do something special for me since it's been a while....hint hint if your reading Nate! Do i sound ungrateful? I dont mean to be, he does so many great things for me during the week I should be happy with that but every now and then, you just want a little somethin, right? anyways...back to weight loss....

calorie wise i did better, never dipped under the 1200 range after exercising. i'm still freaking out though if i see that my calories pre-working out being over 1899. i need to work on that, like Jillian said this week: food is fuel. sodium was great this week too, i only went over the recommended daily amount once, so in that respect things are falling in place quite nicely. don't get me wrong, it's a beyotch tracking all this stuff but it's pretty interesting.

i look back at this week and i really wouldn't have done anything different. i'm eating foods i can see myself eating down the road. i'm beginning to show definition in my arms; my legs are slighly sore. i'm feeling better and i;m sleeping better!

i have a quiet weekend planned which hopefully will add to my less intense week. Fridays are usually pretty low-key which usually involve catching up on TV and some Wii. Saturday Nate and my bro are going to some MotoCross event which means I have the house to myself. wooooohoooooo. i definately won't be doing much and then on Sunday I have my 1st babyshower of this month. busy but not overly.

on that note, have a great weekend ladies and gents!

what a whirlwind

things have been a tad stressful since about last thursday.

you see, last monday at work, this rumor started spreading that one of the gals was resigning her position due to situations in her life. she wasnt quitting, just opting for a less stressful position within the company. she herself didnt confirm this to me until about wednesday or thursday.

you see, the project she is working on is just now starting out, and a lot of hours and work is being required. well, at the beginning of the year, they lost a buyer and since things are slowing down in my department my boss offered my and another buyers assistance. i had mornings and he had afternoons.

anyways, within an hour of her coming clean of the rumor, my name started being thrown around as a possible replacement. i trained their entire department in the SAP module, i'm equally proficient (if not further advanced) in all the software we use, and i speak German fluently. not a necessity for this project, but if we need any assistance from Germany it helps if you can communicate with them in their tongue.

i couldn't believe it! i mean, the position sounded great, i would continue with purchasing and be in charge of import/export regulations/follow-up/etc. i mean seriously, a huge jump for me. i love my boss now though. she lets me do what i need to do without being overly micro-managery. the new one, eh maybe not so much.

i took the weekend to think about, really pondering whether i should give up this oppurtunity because i may not like the boss. in the end, i was ready to accept, there were a few keys points i wanted to discuss with the director and the new boss, and hopefully those won't be an issue in the future. unfortunately, i was the one who had to broach money and once we agreed upon discussing that today, i was pretty geeked.

did it go perfect? no. did i win? fuck yeah. however, it's contingent upon my performance, which i can understand, but the way it was presented to me was very un-pc and i'm a little upset and nervous about it. i feel like i'm under a microscope, every move is going to be watched. it doesnt help that i'm not 100% sure that my direct boss wants me there, his boss wants me there. so, it's all a little nerve wrecking.

i don't doubt that i can't do this. i wouldnt have risen within the company as fast as i have if i didn't have what it takes. i just don't like being threatened.

on top of that though, damn, this whole working out thing is frickin time consuming. no, let me rephrase that..between driving an hour into work, then working between 8 and 9 hours, then another 2 hour drive home/gym, and then another hour/1.5, there goes my day. i feel very overwhelmed/tired/busy.

workout wise, i'm feeling great. clothes are beginning to fit better, especialy underwear. my spirits are higher.

work wise, i feel like i'm finally heading into a direction that i can see myself in. yes i was currently purchasing but i was still doing a lot of paper stuff. hopefully in this position, it will evolve into more.

i wish there was just a better balance. it seems like it's these times though where the weight drops off a whole lot faster than when i'm doing nothing and twiddling my thumbs.

you didn't think i'd quit, did you?

don't get me wrong, i made some very questionable choices on Friday. not necessarily because I was down and out (although that did play a part) but because of poor planning. regardless, i got my shiyat back together for dinner and powered through the weekend!

the hour with the trainer was phenomenal! oh my god....i'm so sore still today. it all hurts. now if i can only figure out a way how i can afford these personal trainer sessions, i'd be one happy camper.

workout wise i've been speed walking for an hour and last week i think i threw in weights twice. shiyat, after saturday though i realized my weights hadn't been set high enough because i didn't feel pain any of the days i did weights. he also thinks i need to vary my cardio more, that i possibly already hit a plateau. i hope that isnt the case after 2 weeks of cardio but who knows. i did try to explain to him that i've increased my speed so it's not like a walk in the park.

we were invited to a Superbowl party last night and instead of eating the pizza they were going to order, i brought my own SB pizza and side salad. a tad embarrassing for nate but honestly, Hungry Howies pizza isnt that great that I was going to splurge calories on. I'd rather use them on ice cream or an entire bar of Milka (yes mutti, your one short....) i started feeling sick though and ended up not eating anything.

i'm changing my meals around again, sticking to salads at lunch, having dinner at night. I'm hoping this keeps me in the upwards of 1800 calorie range.

on that note, have a good one!

beaten horse

is exactly how i feel.

here ya go:


i have no clue how this happened.

when i look over my logs from Monday through Thursday, there is NO WAY, that this should have happened.

Calories Consumed vs Calories Used
Monday: 1819 606
Tuesday: 1669 910
Wednesday: 2312 -
Thursday: 1872 633

ladies, i was distraught yesterday. i think i cried for a good 5 mins after i saw what the scale read.

i talked to a few friends about it and the only thing they think it may be is that my sodium intake is too high. i was always thought they were bogue for mentioning it but this week i figured i'd give it a run and track that as well and it may be. There was only one day where I was under the recomended value of 2300.

how many of you track sodium? got any great low sodium food suggestions? it seems like everything is loaded with salt!!

or maybe my calories are too high?

i honestly just dont know what to do anymore. i'm busting my ass and the scale is going the wrong direction!

on that note, i have my 1 free personal training session in an hour. gotta run!