mental

as i was rummaging through my clothes to find my jeans, the first ones i stumbled across were my Gap ones.

the ones I so thankfully fit into yet also discovered they are too lose.

its those same ones that I dread to put on because everytime i see them, i remember how i stood in the fitting room and could barely get them to zip.

i get butterflys in my stomach when i slip my legs into them, i hold my breath as i pull them over my thighs and while i button them i pray i dont have to suck in.

they were lose at 179, why oh why would they be too tight now?!

it just goes to show you, mind games, i play too many of them and maybe the reason my body didnt lose more last month was because i don't see myself as i am. i'm not who i was 3 monthes ago, or even at the beginning of the year.