"I've been getting a little lazy, waiting for you to come and save me"

i woke up at 6:30 today and just couldn't fall back asleep. even though i can honestly say i tried my damndest. i just had a hankering to clean the bathroom. i figured it would be in our best interest to just get up and attack that mother effer. seriously, i hate cleaning the bathroom! it just takes forever, at least 2 hours!

i feel better today. hopeful again. we all know how hard it is when your sidelined and everyone around you seems to be moving forward and your so happy for them because you know how hard/great it is for them, but you can't but help feel a little sorry for yourself because you want to be doing the same thing but can't. maybe thats why i had this burning desire to clean my bathroom this morning!

so, end of the month weigh in:

last week: 171.5
this week: 171.5

lost: -0-

Total lost in March: 4.5




how do i feel about it? pretty darn good. i'm very happy with my progress this month. i don't doubt my progress next month will be equal, if not better, than this month, which also gives me hope of reaching goal sooner than later!

so, the lyrics, obviously are NOT mine, but Gweny Gwen Gwen's from the album "The Sweet Escape".

i don't know what it is about them but at the beginning of this month is when they really popped out at me. maybe when i realized that i had become lazy and i was expecting this weightloss to be easy/handed to me. basically, i lost focus. not just weight wise but in myself. it's weird because i'm turning 25 this year but damn i still feel like that little girl because everyone treats me that way. at every family gathering i always feel like i'm talked down to, that my opinion/knowledge is downplayed because i'm the 'youngest'. or maybe it's just feelings of not be good enough. who knows.

Lately though, I feel like I'm owning myself. I'm saying what I feel, even if someone isn't liking it. I'm not letting anyone influence how I wear my hair. I'm coming in my own and I think that reason alone is why I am doing as well as I am.

I can't wait for April, May, June, July, August! I'm so lucky that although I started running late last year, that I have this entire season ahead of me! That I may have a tennis buddy!

It's gonna be a good one ladies and gents...I don't doubt that for a second!

blue

ladies, i don't know what it is, the sickness, time of the month, or all the family drama llama, but i'm blue and frankly, it pisses me off!

while blow drying my hair this morning, i caught a glimpse of my things and damn was i disgusted. i know that i'm prone to cellulite-y thighs but i also know that when i exercise (especially run) that i usually get it pretty under control. but that one single teeny tiny glimpse just totally wrecked all the motivation and desire that i had!

it just all of a sudden seems like i'm being held back, prevented from achieving what i know i can because of this illness. it's been over a week now since i've exercised and the weather is so damn beautiful, it's killing me not being able to be outside and run!

i have such high hopes for this summer. i just know it's gonna be great and i want to get near goal and i feel defeated. i know i know it's only the beginning of april, i still have 2 monthes before actual summer begins but i just can't wait to get better so i can i achieve all that i know i am capable of!

i think i'm dying

yes, ladies, i've been mia because i'm on my deathbed..at least that is what it feels like!

i know i was sick before all my family drama llama began but i think that is what made it worse. maybe.

monday i saw the dr. she prescibed me some antibiotics and some special cough syrup. tuesday i was considerably worse and lets add nautious to the list. so i basically threw up anything and everything i had yesterday. today i feel better besides the nautious, so i called the dr back and she told me to stop taking the antibiotics and go pick up some nautious meds instead.

lemme say this, this is NOT how i expected my sick days to be utilized. it's not even enjoyable to be at home!

weight wise, i guess it can't hurt, but honestly i'd rather be 171 a few more days than having to endure this!!!!

wish me better soon!!!

3

Last week: 173
This week: 171.5

Lost: 1.5 lbs

Total lost: 4.5 lbs





oh vey, i must say i am quite excited! i had very little hope this week since i've been pretty ill since Sunday. I did end up working out Tuesday but on Wednesday my throat was 100 x's worse! I think I'm gonna lay off the working out till I figure whats up with my throat!!

2 more lbs to go!!!!

Will I make it before the end of the month??

breaking up is hard to do!

i officialy moved into my new position today! i had wanted to mention something earlier but didn't want to jinx it! I'm a 'Buyer' now, wow, right? I'm definately moving up the corporate ladder now! And as my mother said. "You [Me] in a nutshell."

It definately was bittersweet. My boss and I got along great, and if it hadn't been for this other person whose a pain in the ass, I probably wouldn't have sought out this position, yet alone this quickly. It's definately for the better but it was still sorta sad. I'm sure when I get my next paycheck I'll be ecstatic!

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I gained a .5lb this weeekend!!!! How awesome is that?! Can you believe I'm excited about a gain!?

However, I was in the bottom two of TBL@work. Can you believe it?! I sure as hell can't!!!

G.(male) lost 13 lbs. D.(male)lost 6 lbs. Y(female) lost 2.8 lbs. M (female) lost 2 lbs. I lost 2 lbs and one person (also male) decided to not weigh-in. I couldn't believe it! I mean, ok, I figured the guys would have stellar weightlosses, right. I mean they always do! I just didn't expect Y. to have such a loss! This may be more tough than I expected!

Besides that, I have high hopes for this week although I am a little skeptical of reaching 169.5 by Thursday I guess it's possible but that would mean I have to lose 4 lbs. by Thursday. I'm really trying to not think about that because it just depresses me!

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I really had to re-assess the food situation. I've been so time strapped lately that I buckled down and bought Lean Cuisines. For some reason I'm so ashamed to resorting to microwaveable meals. Does anyone else feel this way? I try so hard to buy/eat/live a unprocessed way of life that buying these meals feels like such a cop out. The reality is though that if I want to continue losing I need to have prepared meals available for me or else I'll be caving in to junk food!

I was feeling really low yesterday, one minute ecstastic about 173.5 and the next depressed, but I think it had more to do with the fact that out of the blue Sunday night I started getting body aches, my throat hurt, I just felt off. So, I took off early yesterday, came home and slept it off. My throat still aches today but other than that I feel good. Definately more optimistic about my weightloss as well. Although I am quite up in the air on whether or not I should workout today.

Any suggestions?

first weekend 'in control'

i can't say it was easy but it definately wasn't as difficult as i expected it to be. yes, i had to serve up some self-control but i'll be honest ladies, i was PO'ed last Thursday when all I had to show was a 1 lb loss. Thankfully, this kind of PO'ed-ness didn't lead to the usual "hell, i'm not losing fast enought lets go to McDonalds for lunch, get a BigMac meal, supersize it and a milkshake for dessert" attitude but instead made me seek out advice and help!

my biker chic friend thinks I'm not eating enough calories on the days that I workout. It could be possible. I dont really know, I've been semi-tracking and I think it's possible. On the days that I workout, are the days that I don't hangout with my mom which means I come home and cook which means that I know what I'm consuming. I know I've been eating within the 22 to 24 pt range on days that I do work out and if I earn between 4 and 6 AP's, maybe I am 'starving' my body?

so, Friday stayed within my Points and worked out, was down Saturday morning. Saturday: didn't have a chance to workout yet ate much better than I have in the past and was up a .5 lb today. Today I have high hopes again! I hope to maintain, even better would be to lose the .5 lb!!!

I worked out 4 times this week for a total of 2:51 hrs and 19 AP's! Not bad eh? Especially when I think about the fact that 2 weeks ago, I wasn't doin jack sh!t.

I hope others weigh-in for TBL@work tomorrow. I'm pretty excited to see how I did compared to them! Only 11 more weeks to win my $50 back!!!

Hope everyone has a great start to a new week!!!

2

Last week: 174
This week: 173

Lost: 1 lb

Total lost: 3 lbs.







Well folks…I was hoping for a better loss but a loss is a loss, right?

Had a tough weekend that I spent all week recovering from, which now just pisses me off because 2 days worth of fun (and lets be realistic, it’s not that fun when you spend all week undoing the damage!) isn’t worth it. It’s a new week and I am giving my all to have a semi-normal weekend. A small gain perhaps but nothing like last weekend!

Next week for sure I will hit 169.5! In a way it’s crazy when I think about it because that means I will have lost 6.5 lbs in 3 weeks!

Seriously though, I need to chill out because it’s this number bs that I do to myself that gets me in trouble and usually leads to either a stall or a gain and I’m definitely not havin that!

It’s funny though because once you find your groove (and lemme tell you, this can happen quite frequently or infrequently. It happens to moi quite infrequently if you can’t tell from my stats) the weight can’t fall off fast enough! Nothing can happen fast enough and that can be the downfall.

Right now I have one goal in site, May. In May, I have a bridal shower and a wedding in ATL I would like to attend. Goal: the 150’s. Totally doable and above all, if I don’t it’s ok because honestly no one will notice and that makes this all seem a little more doable. Goals and aspirations without pressure!

On that note, the wagons taking off…

they made me do it!!!

yes, blogger finally made me frickin switch! they locked me out of the normal sign-in...i'm very saddened by this fact....

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well, the heat is on! some lady at work decided to host The Biggest Loser at Work, a $50 buy in and the one who has the largest percentage lost after 12 weeks gets 60% of the money, the 1st runner up gets 25% and the 2nd runner up gets 15%, so even if you are the 2nd runner up, you get your $50 back! and damn do I want my $50 back!!! that's just so much money for something so, whats the word, ......., hell i can't even think of the word but i want my $50 back!!!!

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can you believe the weather? it's so amazing! i had my first run on Sunday. It felt great! The sun was shining, it was warm and there were so many people out! I couldn't believe, nor do I ever remember the park being that full! I ran 3 miles at a little over 11 mins a mile. Not bad considering I haven't run in over 2 monthes! although I didn't feel like it winded my terribley, my legs have been killing me the past 2 days! I swear to god I look like a penguin waddling. Did that prevent me from running today? NOPE! I trudged on, even though I felt every single ache!

did i mention i want my $50 back?

"i feel good...

just like I knew that I would..."

i feel on top of the world. I didn't jinx myself on Thursday and have had this amazing resolve that I can't remember having, ever before!

It's just coming so easily to me right now...gawd, if it were always like this, I'd be at goal before you know it!

PB and I went out with some good friends last night, yeah, we didn't come home until 5 this morning! I can't remember the last time we were out that late and had such a good time.

The personal training session was a little disappointing to me. I expected the trainer to take my measurements and then assess me and what needs to be done.

What really happened is that she asked what I wanted/expected/etc. I guess thats important but I don't know. I really liked her, she seemed cool but if I am spending the money I want results and not a friend. So, I don't know...they are offering a 3 session package for considerabley less than the other packages so I may do that and just see how I feel about her.

I have big plans for this week, I want to reach 169.5 by Saturday. Doable for sure considering the past 2 days I've weighed in at 172.

It's crazy to think that almost 2 weeks ago I regurarly weighed in at 176 and now I'm already down 4 lbs. I kid you not though, seeing that number scared the beejeebies out of me!

I will not get fat again. Maintenance doesn't seem acceptable now. There's only one way to head right now and that is DOWNWARD!

1

I'm coming back to weekly weigh-ins, I just feel like right now that it's a good thing.

Last week: 176
This week: 174

lost: 2 lbs

Total lost: 2 lbs





yeah, yeah!!! I'm feeling good. Downward movement is always good. I also feel really confident about this month! Thank God there are so many weeks in it. Hopefully, I'll get past the infamous 169.5 (don't want to jinx myself but then again I probably just did!)

Sonya inspired me and tonight I have a free consultation with a personal trainer.

Did I mention I was serious about this?

it's a start

This past weekend was good. not great but good. i worked out. i ate a little more freely than i should have but oh well. maybe thats been my problem, perfection.

If a week or a day wasn't perfect, i'd carry that into the next, trying to micromanage everything therefore stressing myself out even more.

it really is ok to not be perfect. yes, i may try to carry things out to perfection but rarely is it perfect. it may be good or great but not always perfect and in that instant i'm ok with that. usually i'm happy with the result and thats what i need to remember.

i tried with all my might and i need to happy with that.

last september when i got serious about WW again, i wasn't perfect every day or every week and i was ok with that and it was then that i had my greatest losses consistently.

It may take me longer but seriously I wasnt as stressed either.

I can do this!

End of the Month Weigh-In

i was seriously ready to pull the plug today, well sorta, at least go on a 1 month hiatus.

i knew what the final number would say this month and i'm quite disappointed in myself. i'm just having such a hard time at night. all i want to do is snack.

i'm using the food to soothe me from all the negative crap that is happening at work. why am i continuing doing this if i know what i'm doing? i dunno...the soothing aspect?

regardless, i feel like crap, and need to get past this...so this months goal...back to 169.5. gawd that number sounds like heaven right now...