Happy Halloween!!!!

This one has to be short since I'm already running late...I'll try to post a little longer post tonight.

Last Weeks Weight: 174
This Weeks Weight: 171.5
Lost: 2.5 lbs!!!!!

Total Lost this Month: 4 lbs

Im sorta so-so about this months loss. Like I said, I'll explain more. Needless to say, I did NOT hit the 60's. Here is my weight on a lovely lil' ticker!!





Hope everyone has a safe and fun day today!!

The Great Pumpkin

There's nothing like a lovely Fall day spent at a Cider Mill.

Finally, after WEEKS of rainy weekends we were finally able to go to a Cider Mill. Even though it was windy as hell, it was so nice to be out and about. This particular cider mill is really nice because they offer free hayrides, as often as you wish, have a corn maze another sort of labrynth, a miniature golf course, and haunted house for kids. It's cool and 4 hours flew by like nuthin!

On our way to the pumpkin patch, we sat across from this family. As we were passing the apple trees, this little kid was yelling "Look Papa Look. Red Onions!!!" The Dad was like "No Jr. those are apples." Jr. " Look at the plums!" Ok, so I thought maybe he was trying to be funny. As we rounded one side of the patch, he goes, "WOW! Look at those oranges!! They are HUGE!" uuhhmm, no shit shirlock those are effin pumpkins! the final thing that convinced me that perhaps this kid lived under a rock was when we were passing these cranberry like looking berries and he says "Cherries! Cherries!!!" Do kids get that rarely out or not learn where basic food comes from?! It truly rocked my world. It's sad to think that a new generation of kids/people don't know simple things like onions grow in the ground and oranges on tree's. Gosh, even those annoying Florida Orange commercials should be teaching them something!

Besides that, I didnt find the Perfect Pumpkin this year. Close but no cigar. I'm truly very picky. They need to be perfectly round, not to tall and not too short. A nice orangy color, not too yellow and not too green. Oh and above all, he needs to have a stalk! Is that strange? I found 3 that I liked and then I sat them next to each other. I was ready to ask them questions like "Why should I choose you? What do you have to offer that others don't and other questions along those lines but I figured I may get thrown out for that so I left it alone and chose the one that met 2 of the 3 criteria, he's stalk leaves something to be desired, but hey I dig it and I'm overall pretty happy with it.

Thats what I've been up to. See you guys on Tuesday when I give my final weight for this month!

high as a kite

oh man, am i on a high!

the past 2 days have been really great. yesterday, 22 pts and 3 liters of water. no exercise cuz i crashed at 8:30. today, i'm currently at 20 points which leaves me 2 more if i choose to eat them. 3 liters of water and 5 AP's!! that means that i have 3 great OP days behind me!! YAY ME!!!! that also means, only 5 more days to get through. doesn't seem that bad now does it?!

so, lemme start off by saying why this past weekend was so rough..

Friday night we went to Noodles and Company, I of course, already knew I was going to have the Med Salad with Chix because my first fave choice has 600 calories and god knows how much fat. I was bummin because not only was my bro eating the Japanese Pan Noodles so was PB. Ok, whatever, I got over it once I saw the FAB number Saturday morning. All day Saturday I stick to my good eating plan and at the Halloween party I don't drink nor eat and Sunday I'm up. That truly sent me over the edge, I was depressed all day Sunday and come Sunday night I had a minor binge. 6 mini Baby Ruths and a krokosball. Not major actually I was totally surprised at how little my binge was (I know to some of you this may seem like a lot but when i think back to the day where a binge would consist of a SuperSized meal from McDonalds plus a bag of candy, I've really improved!). I tried to eat more cuz WHAT?! I can only eat that?! But I seriously got so sick I had to quit.

I'm glad I caved though. I needed that "break" if you can call it that, but all that food frustration I had sorta went out the door and I woke up Monday feeling ready/recommitted. You see, I've been recommited for 6 weeks. 6 weeks where I've had a steady weight loss (even if it was only .5 lb to 1.5lbs). It's hard and to constantly be thinking about what you need to be eating, what you shouldnt be eating, what you want to be eating. I just had a tiny breakdown and thankfully it only lasted part of an evening.

I can't believe 6 weeks have passed, I've lost 6 pounds in those weeks. Not earth shattering but pretty damn good if I look over my history with this.

I try not to think about had i done this since last january i'd be at my goal weight. I should be insanely proud of what i've accomplished and i am.

what i'm more excited about though is.....WHAT I CAN STILL ACCOMPLISH THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!

what are your goals for the rest of the year?

scale

so here's my weight for this week....





that makes a 1.5 lb loss from last week. yay!!!! or....NOT

i'm too tired right now to get into detail but yesterday was trying, VERY trying.

i really am happy about my 1.5 lb loss, but after seeing that fab number on Saturday I was slightly disappointed.

thats ok though because today i woke up in great spirits, surprisingly after last nights little slip and am DE TER MIN ED!

goal until next Tuesday: stay OP! that includes tracking dinner, i haven't been doing so in the past.

today was great: ate my 22 Points, had 3 L of water and earned 7 APs!

only 7 more days...i CAN do 7 days!!!

Turkey Trot

I saw an incredible number this morning on the scale. OH MY GOD do I hope it's not a fluke. It shouldn't be, I wasnt dehydrated or anything like that. Lets keep those fingers crossed for Monday!

Although it was raining and chilly, I went for a run. The past 2 weeks I was seriously struggling. My body just felt heavy, weighed down. Today it felt light, agile. This may sound crazy and if any of you other runners out there have a similar issue, please let me know, but I feel that my body just slows down right before TOM. Running is just nearly impossible for me. I noticed this throughout my marathon training as well as recently right before TOM I can barely make it through 3 miles and today, I ran them effortlessly. My time was 31.48. I'm quite geeked! I need to look over my marathon log and see if I ran such times back then. I dont think so though.

Because of the weather, there was only one other lady out there. I gave her a thumbs up sign. Weird? Perhaps, but I remember early on in my marathon training, I was just coming up to my 4th mile and this lady passed me who was walking and she gave me a thumbs up sign and it just pulled me through for another 2 miles. I don't run that course without thinking about it. It was something really so simple but it helped me and today on this shitty ass day, I wanted to pass on that sense of sistership/triumph. We were out here on a Saturday morning, in the rain, working towards a greater goal and god damnit even if she was questioning herself for being out there, because lets be realistic, the majority of us would rather be sleeping and I myself had to search deep down and remind myself why I'm doing this. I hope that if she was questioning if she made the right decision to get up and get out there this morning, that my little thumbs up, made her believe in what she was doing.

I've been contemplating running the Turkey Trot ever since I wrote about my disappointment of not running the marathon a few weeks back. It's a 10K. I can run a 10K. Especially with it being on Thanksgiving, I mean, what other way than to run a 10K on the day that starts a month long of eating fests!?

At the same time though, we typically go to the Parade, and I dunno if I want to stand aruond stinky after the race to watch the Parade. So, I dunno, I feel like I NEED to do this though. If I do this, then I know I CAN make it through December without gaining anything!

I just need to think of a way to be able to run and then enjoy the Parade after.

coworkers and weightloss - Take 2

Man, am I posting a lot or what? I’m just in one of those moods so I figured, hell, why not?!

So, I’m sitting at my desk, opening a small bag of Cheddar Cheese Sun Chips that I had saved from my lunch because at that time I didn’t want them. Around 3, I decide that damn Sun Chips sounded like a grand idea.

CoWorker: Should you be eating those?
Moi: Excuse me? I’m totally taken aback because I’M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS and can’t a girl just enjoy her damn chips! They were even accounted for in my journal.
CW: You probably shouldn’t be eating chips if you’re trying to lose weight.
Moi: True, however not only did I plan for them but they do have less fat than other chips so I’m not really stressing over it. Why am I justifying to her why it’s ok to eat my damn chips!
CW: Oh, well I’m sure they have less than a Snicker’s bar. Your damn right it’s better because I’m at least attempting to fit in all my dairy, veggie/fruit requirements whereas you skip meals along the way!

God, could I kick myself in the ass for telling her that I’m on WW! Am I gonna have to report to her every time I decide to eating something that aren’t veggies or fruit?!

I had a great OP day yesterday and worked out! TBL always gets me. Does anyone ever cry when the contestants do? Ok, so maybe I’m the only weird one but I swear to god I know what they are going through. And seeing others go through the same hell always rejuvenates me.

MAJOR goal for this weekend: is to not only write down what I eat (which I’m actually good at), but POINT it out (which I’m not so good at on the weekends!) and consequently stay within my limit. I’m seeing some lovely numbers and with the end of the month being so near, DAMN do I WANNA reach the 160’s!!!!!

Major milestone was reached yesterday. I bought the first bag of Halloween candy, and well, couldn’t NOT have a piece so I had a Baby Ruth (2 POINTS) in my car to the next store, upon leaving the 2nd store I had another Baby Ruth (now 4 POINTS) and I quit. Yes, I WANTED more. Damn those babies taste good, but you know what? I felt satisfied. I had had 2 pieces and my brain just let it go. Isn’t that great?! Why can’t I always be this determined?

On that note, have a great weekend!!

choices

Hot damn. Did anyone watch The Biggest Loser last night?

Although I cant believe they sent Amy home, I am totally impressed by her dedication and loss! I think she has been the biggest loser of the whole bunch who’ve returned home! She seriously looked great!

I’m feeling pysched again. You know, like I can do this. I know I CAN DO THIS. Your probably asking How, HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? It’s simple really…even on the days where I feel like “eff it!”. I can choose from one of my breakfast choices and still frickin enjoy it! I had one of those days yesterday, so what did I have for breakfest. A WW English muff with 2 tbsp Nutella and that only cost me 5.5 pts. Not bad eh?

Because on days when I wanna eat out and do, I choose the over-priced turkey sandwich.

The majority of the time it’s getting easier to say no to certain things. Hell, I did indulge last Saturday and ate 3, yes 3, cinnamon sugar donuts at the Cider Mill, but hell I only eat em in October and it’s not like I’m eating them every day, only once a weekend for the entire month. Perhap’s more than some but I can live with this, and isn’t this really what it comes down to? Changes we can live with for the rest of our lives.

It’s strange, the longer I’m doing this, the more I really believe in it. There is no quick fix. You have to choose what you want to remain in your life and what can go. What you can substitute or cut back on.

It sounds so simple right, but damn does the process take its time.

barely

alive that is.

Monday's weigh in: 176

which means that I'm down a lb since the week before, and only .5 a lb from the lowest lately.






so, yeah...i'm just not feelin it. not the weightloss thing cuz well i'm still chuggin. i dont know what it is. i'm not down i'm just barely makin it, ya know?

Aighty, peace out folks!

Halloween

I havent celebrated Halloween in 2 years. 2 years ago I ordered Velma’s costume over the internet and when it arrived I didn’t fit into it. Not only was it One Size Fits All but I weighed 168ish. I don’t know the exact weight but I know I wasn’t in the 170s. I’ve been devastated since then and well, just haven’t gotten into the spirit.

I refuse to do the same this year. Ive been all about loving myself and taking care of myself and well, Halloween is part of that. I braved Halloween USA today, I knew they have dressing rooms and would be able to try anything on before I bought it. Hell, I was even ok with checking out the plus sized section.

I was able to squeeze myself into Larges but since I’m hippy, everything was tight around the hips. I could easily wear a slimmer and it be ok, not great but decent for sure. I don’t want to do that though. I want to be comfortable in a costume, especially since I’d be wearing it at TWO Halloween parties this year. Unfortunately the Plus Size section barely had any costumes, so I didn’t bother trying any one on.

I don’t know what to do. I still have some time, well, not really the first Halloween party is next week. I could make something perhaps? I don’t have any practice in sewing so I couldn’t really make, make something.

I really don’t want to be a downer this year but I’m frustrated and mad as hell!!

Any suggestions?

coworkers and weightloss

Moi

• 7:00 AM - breakfast
• 9:00 AM - coffee
• 10:30 AM - red peppers/cucumbers
• 12:00 PM - lunch (lean cuisine or other pre-measured food)
  
• 3:00 PM - carrots

Co-worker

• breaktfast - no clue
• 12:30/1:00 PM - lunch (mcdonalds/pizza/thai/chinese NUTHIN healthy!)
• 3:00 PM - a Snickers or TWO

M: I pull out my baggie of carrots
C: in an annoyed voice..You and your carrots. I'm going to get a Snickers.
M: Trust me, I'd rather be eating a Snickers right now than these carrots.
C: Oh, I know. It's so hard and I really shouldn't I'm already above my high end weight.
M: I'm not really quite sure why I told her, I hadn't really mentioned it to anyone else including the Talker who constantly tells me and who else will listen how fat she is. She's NOT. I started WW 4 weeks ago.
C: What?! That's great! How much weight have you lost?
M: 6 lbs. Not bad but I wish it were more.
C: Great! If I cut out dinner, I'd be back down in no time. I know sometimes I dont even have dinner if I have 2 Snickers.
M: Wow, no I couldn't do that. I need a final meal. I know for me, weekends are the worse for me. Unstructured eating, indulgences, eating out, alcohol...
C: No wonder you haven't lost more!

UUUUHHHHMMMMMMM...beyotch!? Seriously, can you imagine she said that?!

Yes, yes I KNOW its the truth. I'm not denying it but for someone who doesn't know me that long to say that to me. I'm annoyed. Rude much?

Now, I'm determined to pull out strong these last 18 days of October!!!!

what to say?

Ugh…this wasn’t really a surprise, since Saturday my scales been going up. I’m not really quite sure why. Perhaps because I ate out a lot this week (5+ times for sure) and although I had hoped that my 4 days of exercising would counterbalance that I guess it didn’t. Or perhaps the major loss of the previous week was all a fluke. WHO THE HELL KNOWS?! Regardless, I’m not bothered by it because this is a LIFEstyle change, right? Ok, maybe I'm just a little sad.

The weekend was chill. Both nights we ended up going to bed around 10. I don’t know if its me, but when I’m strictly counting/watching/exercising going out isn’t that much fun. I don’t like to drink, and the odds of us driving thru Taco Bell at 2 is pretty high. And then this afternoon, instead of working out, I opted to prep veggies and some dishes. Only got as far as Tuesday but it’s a start. I need to focus on the basics this week. Although I stayed within my POINTS limit this week, I barely met the guidelines. Could that have anything to do with the gain?

I’m off to work and hope that everyone has a successful start to their week!

in mourning

PB had a work sponsored golf event so i got up with him at 8. he left in the direction of work and i headed to the metro park.

there was NO ONE there. it was strange.

i think the last time i went running there was in august. hell, the last time i ran was august so it was probably that time.

it was cold this morning. i wore my adidas pants and a long sleeve shirt. that was actually pretty good except for my hands. i need to buy gloves.

i was alone. except for 2 fishers and the signs i saw posted throughout my run mentioning how many miles were left. there must have been a race. on my way out, i didnt see any stations or anything but heading back to my car there was a station with drinks and get this...white castle burgers?! ummm....has anyone ever heard of this? those things are just plain nasty and i cant imagine them being healthy or anything, yet alone supplying energy.

i ended up seeing 2 men joggers. not quite sure if they were part of the run. the one guy had this big contraption like looking thing on his wrist. i wonder if it was a Garmin type like thing.

my run was good. i didnt try to time it or run a specific distance, i just hit the pavement. i felt good. i'm definately NOT back at the starting point I was at when i decided i was going to run a marathon, so thats good.

on my way back, i got all choked up. i'm sure its pretty obvious to anyone who reads my blog that i quit training. my week in Jersey threw me off track. so, tomorrow in 3 weeks will be the marathon. the one i should be running but won't be.

i'm disappointed in myself. i busted my ass for weeks in Germany to start the training. i wanted to run the marathon and when my running time/place became unavaiable i stopped.

it's pretty tough running and having your throat close up because your crying.

i honestly can say i love running. if i didnt, i wouldnt have gotten up this morning and gone out. i think for that reason, it makes it even tougher.

on top of that fact that i followed the trainers advice and told people that i had planned on running the marathon and now that its coming up, people are asking about and i have to admit i'm NOT running it.

damn...ya know, that bothered me the most at first but i think i realized today that i'm more sad for myself. i wanted to do this and i didn't follow through with it.

i'm trying not to be down about it, it's a saturday and i should be ecstatic that i woke up early and did something i enjoyed.

on that note, a few extra things i'm proud of that i've accomplished recently:

1. drinking diet only when i go out. compared to the 2/3 cans i drank daily!
2. i fit into a pair of size 12 pants i didnt fit into 4 weeks ago!
3. i worked out 4, read 4, times this week.

hope everyone has a great, and successful (weight wise of course!) weekend!

simplicity

man, ive been thinking about this since i wrote my last post. i was actually surprised how many of you decided to comment. Thank You! It really means a lot.

i think the problem is that i think it's supposed to be or is easy, when the reality is that it's not.

there is so much stuff that can mess with your weightloss. the planning that needs to go into creating healthy meals, taking the time to eat and savor your food, oh and what about the journaling and tracking. lets not even add family, spouses, and a social life.

i swear to god, i jinxed myself on monday. i've told myself times and times again that i can NOT make a declaration of my goals/ambitions and above all i can't set a time limit on my weightloss. the minute it sank in that i wanted to reach the 60's by the end of this month and i felt like the world was on my shoulders. and i've been there since monday. this week has just been one of those weeks where i'm holding onto the back of the wagon by my fingertips and the smallest bump in the road could lead to me falling off.

i've been feeling blah since about Tuesday. i worked 11 hours on monday because my boss called off so i had to take over some of her duties. it was crazy. i left crying i felt so overwhelmed. she didnt show up on tuesday either, it was a little better. i left a little earlier Tuesday, if you can call 5:15 early, only because i had to be in at the 7:30 on Wednesday because the reception girl had off. seriously this was one of the reasons why i didnt want to go into law. i didnt want to slave away my day at the office. am i being naive here? does anyone work a 8 hr work day anymore? hell, i'm totally reconsidering law school now. at least id be making major cash if i have to stay work at all hours of the day!

then i feel guilty for asking PB to unload the dishwasher. but jesus christ, we both work now and i still feel like i do the majority of stuff. i prep the food, i prep our lunches, i typically unload and load the dishwasher. on my lunch hour i go buy groceries. is it too much to ask for PB to unload the mother effin dishwasher?! PB does as much as I do, don't get me wrong but i feel like i do more that benefits both of us whereas he only takes care of business that directly benefits him. i clean the kitchen, both of us enjoy a lovely kitchen. we both need clean dishes and laundry. i dont need the basement cleaned so that my band can practice there.

oh, and did i mention there is a box of candybars in the pantry because pb said they looked good and we had to buy them at Sams Club. and seriously, the weight problem is my problem. not his. should i punish him for my inability to eat only A candybar? part of me says yes, but i do want to learn how to live with food. do you think its doable?

ladies, this week is hard...i'm barely cooking. i'm making prepared meals. calorie wise ok but not what i want to be putting into my body.

i was wondering, what do you guys take to lunch? I just dont have the energy to make lunch for the next day, the night before. i know i know, i should probably be prepping food for the week on the weekend. i'm just not budgeting my time properly yet.

what are some of your time savers?

today doesnt even feel like i thursday. i cant believe it. besides all this whining. this week has been good. ive stuck to my points. ive already worked out twice and ill be working out later tonight and i have at least one more activity planned for saturday morning. in that respect, this week will have been awesome.

weight wise, i'm not so sure. i've been all over the scale this past week. some days up and some days down. i had a major loss last week, so i dont know what to expect for this week.

only 26 more days until the Holiday season begins.....

not to complain

because i'm still in that mindset, i'm still busting major ass and i can't see myself being swayed from that path, however...

works getting in the way.

i worked 10.5 hours today, which means 2.5 hrs time and a half. not including the 1.5 commute.i dont want that time and a half. i want to work my 8 hours and get the hell outta there.

my boss called in today, her son is sick. that meant i was the Presidents Assistant, on top of the other work already on my desk.

it's stressful. i do a wide variety of stuff and i still havent learned this new software. many were mad at my slowness, but i'm really trying to not eff it up.

oh, and the Pres doesnt eat. i swear to god, he gets there at 8 and doesnt leave his office (he has his own private bathroom) until way after i leave, which typically is between 4:30 and 5. he brings with him 3 bars. not quite sure what kind of bars they are but he lives off of them.

by 3 today, i still hadnt had my lunch. i was starving so i ate while working. he looked upon disapprovingly. do you think maybe he wanted some?i had to eat. i wouldn't have made it through the rest of the afternoon. its like in The Devil Wears Prada, except that I dont get amazing clothes for free and well, my in opinion the product i sell isnt half as glamorous as Vogue magazine.

it's weird. i wasnt this motivated on losing the weight when i was unemployed. i wish i had been. it would all be so much easier now. or would it?

i feel like i have no right to complain. i never weighed 200/300+ pounds. my heighest weight was 194. the 40 some pounds that i have to lose is nothing compared to the hundreds some have to lose or have lost.

the reality is though that i probably face the same issues you do. i struggle with my eating. wanting versus needing. being an emotional eater but i'm working through it. a year or two ago i would have stormed the cabinet, finding the nearest candy bar.

i had to stop at the store on the way home tonight, and man did those frozen snicker ice cream bars call my name, but i knew i was frustrated about work and i knew that if i brought them home, all 6 would be eaten later on. they are still there, waiting to be boughten by someone else.

life just makes weightloss that much harder. the first 3 weeks weren't cake. and i didnt do everything right but goddamnit i'll be damned if one bad day at work is gonna undo all that hard work. i'm tired of losing and relosing the same couple of pounds.

ILL BE DAMNED IF I DONT BREAK INTO THE 160'S THIS MONTH!

i'm mentally ready for the 160's. i'm counting, i'm weighing/measuring and i'm working out.

i know it'll happen this month!